Roosh V’s Game

Daryush Valizadeh is an American of Iranian descent, and we hope you have been to his blog and to his sister-site Return of Kings.  He is one of the preeminent voices of the manosphere.

We highly recommend Game, his latest book.  Amazon has taken it offline, but you can easily buy it from Roosh’s own web-store.

We have followed Roosh for a long time.  He was an average frustrated chump like many of us in his early years, but took great strides in learning about gender dynamics, society and the skills required to navigate the modern sexual marketplace.  He is one of the very few men in manosphere who see getting laid not as the be-all and end-all of life, but as an important skill.  He is philosophical, well-read, attuned to the culture wars, and writes well!

We bought Game, the latest book by him, and are very impressed.  The prose is light and easy with just enough anecdotes thrown in to make you understand where he is coming from.

Many of the principles, beliefs and affirmations laid out in his book are extremely potent and valuable.  This is one of the best investments we can recommend for a man looking to understand the pitfalls of modern dating.  You will not be able to get every woman, but  through this book, you will upgrade your game and increase the probability of your success with women.

He has been vilified, and has suffered consequences for his outspokenness.  Many countries have curtailed his entry, and he is probably a marked man for SJWs and feminists.  He is also one of the very few men who have put their name on their writings, fearless of consequences and bad coverage by the left-liberal-media.

We may not agree with everything he says.  But he is far more thoughtful than your average PUA coach.  In his writings of last few years, he has expressed the world-weariness of a Casanova who has been there, done that, and is wondering whether the deeper meanings that were available to a man of yore – family, children, community – are still available to him.  Any woman he approaches for a long-term relationship will instantly know his “notoriety”.  He has nowhere to hide, and that is heroic.

We recommend his book to any man who wishes to gain from the experiences of a fellow-traveler in the wasteland of modern hook-up culture.  He has traveled far and wide, metaphorically and literally, and his travels and lessons thereof are not only interesting, they are valuable.

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Game Lessons for Job Interviews

Game, or applied gender dynamics, and pick-up artistry offer great lessons for your upcoming job interview.  Many of the principles can be very successfully applied during your job search and job hunt.  Especially for experienced professionals, knowing the psychological underpinnings of status, persuasion and charm will go a long way in helping you in your career.

Here’s how.

  1. Look your best.  If you want to easily be in the top 5% of the job market, pay attention to your appearance.  Ensure you look neat, clean, with a good haircut, properly shaved or trimmed, trimmed nails, and looking like you care about yourself.  Carry good accessories like a good pen, a smart (not overly small or large or very cheap) wrist watch, and a well-fitting tie and a belt.  Understand fashion and be elegant, not flashy.  Wear a suit or a blazer, even to a workplace which advertises “casual dress code”.  Wear well-fitted clothes.  Stand out as someone who puts in effort toward how he looks.  People immediately and subconsciously respect a man who dresses well.  It also instantly makes you feel confident and ready to take on the world.
  2. Be fit.  Most people pay little attention to their health in their 20s and 30s.  Don’t be one of them.  Regular exercise, good posture and eating well helps you look great as well as keeps your mind active and sharp.  Most jobs these days are sedentary.  You will immediately stand out from others if you are active, agile and full of energy.  You will also be able to go through marathon multi-hour interview sessions without getting exhausted.
  3. Display confidence, not arroganceDuring your interviews and conversations with the hiring team, be confident without sounding arrogant.  Confidence comes from a healthy self-image, self-awareness, knowledge of most people’s insecurities, acceptance of reality, a curious and learning attitude toward life, and being comfortable with your strengths and possible shortcomings.  Don’t be apologetic about yourself.  If you don’t know something, express confidence and enthusiasm that you will learn.  Don’t fib or exaggerate.  People can easily detect if you are fake and are trying to impress.  Don’t try too hard to please others.  Talk about yourself in a way that showcases your authenticity, growth over time, and your optimism about your life and your future.  Look in the other person’s eyes.  Keep your shoulders back.  Don’t fidget.
  4. Assume the sale.  Every job interview is a process of marketing and selling yourself.  Go into an interview with the assumption that you will get the job.  That kind of positive thinking and affirmation will do wonders for your performance.  That assumption can’t be faked.  You can only feel it inwardly if you are well-prepared, have done your research, and are able to confidently and truthfully feel that you are a great candidate for the job.  Marketing is often considered to be tantamount to lying, but think of it as a process of convincing and persuasion.  You don’t have to tell lies, but you have to tell your story in a way that highlights your abilities and value.  Be clear in yourself why you think you are a great person for the job, and be ready to answer when asked.
  5. Control the frame (be the chased, not the chaser)It is almost too easy to direct a conversation toward your areas of strengths.  Almost every interview begins with general questions.  Repeatedly mention your strengths.  When answering a question, weave in your experience and skills in a way that makes the other curious to ask you about things that you feel most confident about.  Once you feel that the conversation in going in the right direction, flip the frame a bit and make the interviewer try to convince you that you should join their organization.  Understand that they need you as much as you need them.  Ask them questions at the end of the interview which subtly make them prove that it will be worth your while to join them.  For example, “How long have you been working here?  What are the best aspects of working here?”  Or, “What do you like most about the leader of the organization?”  Or, “How would you describe the culture here?”
  6. Build rapport.  Mirror the other person’s body language.  Speak slowly and clearly.  Use the interviewer’s name occasionally.  Show an open body posture.  Throw in a little humor once in a while and have a smiling, affable expression (which is very different from a sarcastic smirk).  Repeat the interviewer’s question to them in your own words.  Understand what is important to the interviewer and what they want to hear.  Most interviewers are not keen on conducting interviews as this takes them away from their desk job.  In the first few minutes, set the tone for the interview to be relaxed, enjoyable and conversational.  Relax your facial muscles and your body.  Be fluid and not stiff.  Before coming for the interview, if you know who is going to interview you, research the interviewer on LinkedIn or Facebook and find out what they are like and build common ground.
  7. Make the interviewer feel good.  Don’t just recite facts and figures.  Tell stories about your experiences.  Everybody loves stories.  Make the interviewer feel important and knowledgeable.  Once in a while, if they ask a good question, do say: “That is a great question.  Let me try and understand it fully.”  If they correct a mistake in your statements, say: “Thank you.  You are right!” (instead of being resentful and apologetic).  Ask them about their career and what brought them to this organization.  People love talking about themselves.  Do not interrupt them when they are going on and on about something.  End the interview on a high note, by thanking them in a way that most candidates won’t.  For example: “I know you must have taken time out from your busy day for this interview.  Thank you.  I enjoyed our conversation, and I wish you a great day ahead.”
  8. Display high value.  Your resume should stand out.  Think of ways in which it could.  There should be absolutely no grammatical or formatting errors in your resume.  Your LinkedIn profile should be stellar in its language and detail.  Try to get recommendations from your past teachers or colleagues.  Have a cover letter outlining your experience and why you are applying for this job.  Highlight your major accomplishments and learnings in your resume.  If suitable, mention high-value hobbies which show social proof: Golf, Art, Classical Music or Opera, Horse riding, etc.
  9. Have conversational dexterity.  Keep the conversation flowing.  Awkward pauses are awkward.  If the interviewer is stuck, start talking about something that you think will interest them and that will allow you to tell a story.  Talk about the industry domain.  Talk about recent events.  Ask them about the business and any recent news about the company or about a new leader who might have joined them.  Keep them engaged.  One of the worst mistakes in dating or in an interview is to be boring.  Talk about things which genuinely excite you and you will see them being charged by your excitement as well.  Don’t get into religion, politics or contentious topics.  If asked, you can always say: “It is a complex topic.  I don’t have a firm opinion about it but am curious to understand how people think about it.”
  10. Have a well-rounded personality.  Develop yourself to be socially comfortable, aware of social cues, and enough interests outside your work and home that you can engage anyone in a conversation.  More than you know, having a diverse set of interests will set you apart and make you an instantly likable fellow.  Of course, be careful that you don’t show off (that shows insecurity).  Make it seem like you would be someone the interviewer might actually want to know outside work as well.

Simple Meditation for Self-Improvement

In his famous novel, Hermann Hesse wrote that the main character, Siddhartha, when asked about his skills, used to answer: “I can think, I can wait, I can fast.”

All these three qualities are absent in animals, and are distinct to human beings.

Meditation goes one step beyond thinking, to become aware of one’s thinking and to consciously reflect on one’s thought processes.  Meditation is not to think of something (though that too has its benefits, for example, to ponder over the saying of a great man).

Meditation is to observe one’s thinking, or to simply remain aware and conscious without any directed activity.  No activity, physical or mental, as far as one can manage.

Basic meditation is as simple as:

  1. On a preferably empty stomach, sit down comfortably with your eyes closed.
  2. Just remain aware and conscious, instead of getting lost in thought or in daydreaming.

You might ask, aware of what?  Just remain aware of what is going on: sounds around you, thoughts inside your head, your bodily sensations, your breathing, the slight movement of your eyelids, your heartbeat, …

In the beginning, sit for ten minutes.  After a daily practice of a month, you can increase the duration to be half an hour.  Eventually, aim to sit quietly and meditate for one hour.

What are the benefits of thus sitting quietly?

There are five fundamental benefits to this kind of meditation, no matter if you do it for ten minutes or one hour.  Obviously, doing it longer is better.  But an hour is more than enough for a normal man.

  1. You will, gradually, become the master of your mind.  Your mind constantly tempts to flow with this distraction or that distraction.  By holding it firm during your meditation, you are taming its distractability.  You will become more focused and efficient in your daily life.
  2. You will become more aware of your body and senses.  Due to this increased awareness, you will better enjoy your normal sensory experiences.
  3. You will see a reduction in your stress levels and you will sleep better.  If you allow the mind to be consciously idle, it refreshes itself and the stressful thoughts and feelings become mild and manageable.  You might find that after a session of meditation, you can calmly deal with any crisis that you might be facing.
  4. You will be able to respond to situations better in your day-to-day life.  Instead of immediately reacting, a quiet mind takes in the situation and the available information, and thoughtfully plans a response.  It will respond, not react.
  5. You will become more disciplined in other aspects of your life.  A meditator will not over-eat, not over-sleep, not dress shabbily, and so on.  Because you are doing something daily as a conscious activity, automatically your will-power, discipline and orderliness will see an improvement.

 

Feminism has made society obese

Feminism is essentially women revolting against traditional gender roles and wanting to have the advantages of being a woman as well as those of being a man.  While at the same time, they want men to enjoy no advantage from their masculinity.

What this means at home is that men cannot count on women cooking for them and feeding them, notwithstanding that men take the mantle of working and providing for their families.

Since home cooked food is not available to urbanites, both men and women are suffering from bad food.  They are eating processed, pre-cooked and junk food more than ever before.

Cooking for oneself is less efficient and seems like a chore than cooking for a family, which takes a similar amount of time.  This division of labor is anathema to a modern woman.  In many cases, she wants to be financially independent and therefore has no time or energy left to cook nourishing meals for her family.

You might ask, why should a woman cook, and not a man?  What is so special about cooking?  Cooking at a large scale is indeed done overwhelmingly by men: in restaurants, for special occasions, for large gatherings.  Women have traditionally cooked for their families because they were home, they felt good at providing this valuable service of nourishment and health to their families, and because it requires a certain attention to detail to prepare food for one’s family.  An old man might require easy-to-digest food, an infant might need a liquid diet, a growing boy and girl needs a certain diet.  While men did the work of providing for their families, it was the women who ensured that their families remained healthy and well-nourished.

In modern times, men are still held responsible for providing for their families, but women are no longer expected to cook (at least that’s what feminists will tell you). Working women and single mothers come home tired after work and have no energy left for cooking.  Women didn’t need to work outside home, but these days a single earning household struggles to make ends meet.  This is due to lowered wages (in which feminism has been a big factor because it has enlarged the workforce thus depressing the wages).

Not eating home-cooked meals means people are picking up food on the go, eating frozen dinners, gobbing on “comfort food” like french fries, cakes and ice-cream etc.

The growth of sedentary occupations is another big factor in this obesity epidemic, but as any diet expert or personal trainer will tell you, staying healthy and fit depends far more on diet than on exercise.

Feminism has made a good diet unavailable to the vast majority of urban population, and thus we see both men and women more and more unhealthy, struggling against the effects of a bad diet, and growing fatter and fatter.

If you are a single man, learn to cook some efficient and healthy meals at home.  If you don’t have a woman to cook for you, don’t despair and don’t depend on processed food.  Eat well, exercise and rest well.  It is not the same as having food with your family, but in these abnormal times, one has to take care of oneself.

Blog of an Indian PUA

Recently we came across an interesting blog: Indian Man’s experience with women.  These are interesting tales of a probably youngish PUA who doesn’t use much except his attitude and skills to get laid.  We recommend his blog to our readers.  This blogger not only seems genuine, but his writing is good and there are many interesting insights and tips in his tales.

As an example, in this reminiscence, he shakes off his rejected mindset and has a good day in Rishikesh:

So I was roaming in the market, a lot of white people going past me. One white woman passes by, I open my mouth but no words come out. Another white woman passes by, I open my mouth, she looks at me for a second and then walks on. Third white woman passes by, I say hi, she is scared and walks even faster.

Okay so I was dejected by then. I started feeling like a creep. Probably the worst day of my life. I bought some fresh baked cookies from the street vendor and started eating. Sugar makes you high and I could do anything to change my sad state. As I was eating, there she came, wrapped in red, blonde hair and brown eyes, the white lady who’d ruin me for other women. She stood next to me and bought some cookies for herself and walked away. She was so gorgeous that I thought she was totally out of my league. And I had been facing rejections also.

But I decided to act regardless.

Bravo!

Providing Information is Low Status

In most human interactions, having information is the key to power.  If I have information about you, but you don’t know much about me, I have an advantage over you.

If information is power, then providing information is a submissive gesture.

Remember this principle in your interactions with women.  Offering information about yourself a bit too enthusiastically is a sign that you are trying hard to ingratiate yourself with her.  That’s a beta tell.  Alpha males ask for others to be ingratiated.  To want to be “nice” to others is to be of lower value than them.

Moreover, providing info is a sign that you are trying to impress her.  Remember, it is not the content of your interaction which matters, but the intent.  She will detect sooner or later that you are seeking her approval, and she will regard you as below her league.

Lastly, providing information is a “linear” and “literal” way to use language.  Alphas tease and don’t immediately provide what is asked for.

Examples?

She: So how was your weekend?
Beta: It was nice.  I spent some hours at home on Saturday relaxing, then on Sunday I did some chores and went to a fun party in the evening with friends.
Alpha: Uhh.  Couldn’t wait for Monday to come.

She: So what do you do?
Beta: At the start of my career I was a programmer.  But now I am an analyst with this transport firm.  It is big firm with offices in many states.
Alpha: Covert arts.
She: No, seriously what do you do?
Alpha: Hehe you will find out soon.  Are you a recruiter?

She: So what should we do this Saturday?
Beta: We can go watch this film XYZ that has been recently getting some good reviews.  We can enjoy popcorn and coke during the film.  Afterwards, whatever you say.
Lesser Beta: We can go for a drive, listen to some music on the way.  Maybe a brewery?
Alpha: Come to my place around 2.  I’ll have a plan.

She: Have you dated many women?
Beta: Some.  I was married for a short while.  My longest relationship outside marriage was 2 years.  I did a speed dating thing in January, and it was quite interesting.
Lesser Beta: Of course.  Still haven’t found the right one.
Lower Alpha: Let’s just say I ain’t a virgin.
Alpha: Are you serious?

You get the idea.  Do not offer more information than is minimally necessary, and instead of immediately answering like a slave, offer some teasing and mystique.

The frame to work toward is not “She has to approve me”, but “She has to win my approval.”

The Friend-zone Shit Test

In many of your interactions with women, watch out for this interesting but all-too-common shit test.

Let us say you are seducing some woman and it is going well, and she is clearly intrigued by you.  She finds you desirable.  But maybe your game is not absolutely perfect and she is somewhat hesitant and is not being too physical with you.  And let us say you make some moves and she acts a bit annoyed, as if you being a hot-blooded man is somehow a bad thing.

And you understand the situation and don’t annoy her to the point of putting her off.  You tease her, continue to make your moves, and when it doesn’t seem to be going further and is petering off, you end the interaction.

Now in such a situation, she might later say (or text you on phone) something like this:

“Hey, it was a fun night.  I really like you but can we just be friends?”

Most men would consider this a failure of their seduction attempt and will likely regard it as friend-zoning.  Many men will say “OK” and continue their seduction in later interactions.  Many will resentfully stop interacting with her.  And a few will try to convince her that you “deserve” more than the friend-zoning.

None of these is likely to work.  All these are you playing by her rules.

What is likely to work, nay, almost guaranteed to work, however, is this kind of a response:

“Uhh.  That won’t work for me.  I don’t do friendships with women that I find desirable.”

This is going to get her hamster spinning.  Does she want to be “undesirable” for you?  Does she want to cut ties with someone who finds her desirable and is unapologetic about it?  Does she want to end the interaction at a sour note with someone that she has enjoyed interacting with?

This was a shit test.   She was testing whether you are weak and whether you will accept her terms.

If you back down and negate your own desires, there is no chance that she will fulfill those desires.  You will then merely waste your time with her in future interactions as she tells you about her career troubles and her love interests.

If you proudly and with clear self-awareness, and with honesty, tell her that friend-zoning is not your thing, that shows her that you are not going to be a beta chump for her.  She can move on, or give herself to you.

In our experience, it is almost certain that she will accept your dominance.  That is what she was testing for, anyway.

Try it next time something like this happens.  You will be surprised how she would want to make up to you for her transgression of suggesting such a dumb idea.