Bodybuilding Basics: Six Mistakes To Avoid

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These days, bodybuilding is a craze. Every guy out there wants to look like a professional bodybuilder, but many people look for shortcuts. Always remember, there is no substitute for hard work. Also, there are many basic mistakes that people make, which result in either injury or no results, and people wonder what they are doing wrong.

Below are some basic errors:

1.Back Does The Weightlifting

Do not lift weights so heavy you start feeling a strain on your back while doing reps. Your biceps, shoulders, chest, etc. are supposed to do the work, not your back. Sooner or later, you will end up injuring your back, and it can be disastrous. Be comfortable while lifting weights, do not make your back do the work.

2. High Protein Diet

The body only needs 0.8 grams of protein per kg of body weight, and will absorb 1 gram/kg if you are really training hard. If you go berserk on a high protein diet it will turn into glucose or come out of your body. The body needs a nutritious diet, which means a balanced diet. Eat plenty of carbohydrates, fruits and vegetables.

3. Mass Gainers And Supplements

You are not working out all day in a gym, and even if you were, I would not recommend anything but a natural diet. Do not waste money or risk health on artificial, cheap quality products which create problems and diseases in the body. Also, people who come off mass gainers deflate like a balloon so build your body naturally.

4. Lack Of Patience

It takes years to build a good, muscular body. It will not happen in a week. Have patience. Hit the gym for the pleasure it gives, not because you want to see overnight results. It simply will not happen. Lack of patience is the biggest reason why people start taking cheap quality supplements. You don’t need them. Have patience.

5. Protein Shakes

You do not need protein shakes. You need calories. A much better alternative is a shake. Here is the shake recipe that I use:

  1. 1 glass of milk
  2. 3 dates
  3. 1 banana
  4. 1 slice of apple
  5. 1 teaspoon of honey
  6. Handful of almonds

Put all the ingredients in a mixer and blend well. Not only will you get your calories, but if you do not like the taste of milk, or have difficulty drinking it, then a great tasting shake will give you the nutrition from milk that you need, without having to endure the taste of milk.

6. Avoiding Cardio

If your metabolism is in the pits, let alone weights you will get tired even if you have to have to climb a flight of stairs. Cardio is a must. I have seen men with bulging biceps and a pot belly. It looks ridiculous. Muscles look good only on a flat stomach. Furthermore, cardio is very healthy and there is no reason to avoid it.

Ten Ways To Live Frugally And Intelligently

Masculinity is not only about physical strength and aggressive behavior but also, among other things, about patience, composure and overall intelligent living.

The present day social environment is increasingly filled with toxic ideologies and information disseminated by the popular media and by anybody with an internet connection and a blog. Therefore, I think that masculinity in the present day has an added meaning of being able to wade through the misinformation-overload of the unprecedented scale and live in a way that is least harmful to oneself, and most beneficial to the society. After all, it is men who build and run the society (for the most part).

We are living in the consumer culture. It is a culture wherein individuals are constantly encouraged to buy stuff, even the stuff that they don’t need. Through systematic brainwashing the corporations are creating needs in people’s minds that would never have arisen otherwise. Where there is a corporation, there is a system in place that ensures that all the money that you earn (mostly from working for one of them) goes back right to the corporations. And they are present in almost every sphere of life today. Foods, clothing, entertainment, electronics, media, everywhere!

In a world like this, frugal living is intelligent living. As a man, one must know to live intelligently.

Below are some of the ways towards that end:

1) Do without accessories, except a wrist-watch

I am referring to accessories like chains, bracelets or wrist-bands, rings etc. made of metal or any other material that many men wear. Such accessories are for women and feminine men.

Women traditionally have been adorning their bodies with accessories to attract attention of men. Men need no such thing. For men, it is their masculine attitude which comprises of strength, confidence, composure, etc. that creates attraction in the opposite sex.

The only accessory that I find useful is a wrist-watch. Get a sturdy watch that has an eye-catching dial, and either metal or resin strap. Leather straps soon turn smelly with sweating, and otherwise are not as durable as metal or resin straps. I currently have a Casio Illuminator watch with resin strap which has a dial that is both digital and analogue. It sports a look that is suitable for both formal and casual settings.

Keep in mind the objectives: A single watch that is 1) durable, 2) has a dial that stands out 3) is suitable for formal as well as casual setting, and 4) is low to moderately priced.

2) Have single pair of jeans, and a few plain t-shirts

Have only one pair of jeans and a few (three to four) plain cotton t-shirts. Go for jeans of the fit that is currently in fashion and get them in dark color (indigo or dark grey). For t-shirts, keep them plain and of the colors that are in contrast with the jeans. Light grey, yellow and khaki are some of the best colors in my opinion as they don’t easily show the signs of aging unlike black, navy blue, brown etc. that take on a lighter shade after a number of washes. Light gray, for example, would not betray that it is being worn for months unless it is torn or has got holes in it. Plain white t-shirt is also good, except that it would catch stains easily.

A pair of branded jeans might cost you somewhat dearly but they last a long time. Jeans are rugged and durable clothing. A one-time investment should last you at least a couple of years. Plain t-shirts on the other hand are normally the cheapest of clothing articles in a mall, even the good quality ones. Go for low to mid-range ones and do not compromise much on quality because one of the primary goals is also durability.

On a well-toned body this combination looks classy any day. There is no need to go for colorful and flashy jeans and shirts like you are going for a party. Flashy clothing is for women and feminine men who lack natural traits in their personality to make them attractive.

This does not mean that you would have no other clothes. You might occasionally need some party wear and a few formal clothes if your workplace requires wearing formals. The above, however, should comprise your go-to wear for hanging out with friends, going out on casual occasions, picnics and even on dates.

3) Say no to junk food

I read this advice somewhere: Be skeptical of eating anything that did not exist when your grandfather was a kid. It is a great advice if you see through it.

Modern food industry through prolific use of advertising seems to have convinced people that they are supposed to eat virtually all the time. A zillion varieties of processed and junk foods are available in a zillion different types of packaging or are served in restaurants at nearly every street corner. Now people want to eat when they are travelling, taking a stroll, or even when they are just bored!

Most of the food that the urban population is eating is useless, and harmful. All processed foods, that is, foods that come in packets, tins, bottles, are junk. All foods made of white flour are junk. Out go the window all bread items (even the so-called whole grain bread) like pizzas, burgers and sandwiches. All food items that are deep-fried are junk. All food items made with excessive use of butter, cheese, mayonnaise, sauces and spices are junk. As far as I know, all Chinese food is junk too. A rule of thumb: Just about all the food that is “fast” and advertised is junk.

Eat home-made food. Food made with wheat flour, like roti. Curries made with pulses and fresh vegetables, brown rice, salad,.. If you need to munch on something for time-pass, eat nuts. I am vegetarian, so I don’t know much about non-veg food, but I would say avoid eating anything that is preserved and cooked in a way that kills nutrients and adds a lot of fat to it. And while we are at it, eat heavy meals only when hungry and never stuff your stomach.

I am not proposing ascetic life here. It is impossible to stay away from temptation to eat junk food 100% of the times. However, setting a rule around it helps. You can set a rule to have the aforementioned junk food only once a week, or twice at most. That is my rule at this time. Someone with more discipline may keep it once a month or so.

If you are not already practicing moderation, ask yourself how much money you spend on the junk food and you might be surprised. It is a great money saver as well as immensely benefits health. Makes it much easier to keep the body in good shape. When the body is healthy, so is the mind.

4) Don’t smoke, drink or dope

If you smoke, drink, or dope as a habit then there is no point reading this guide any further. You are wasting your money and damaging your body and mind in such major way that all other efforts at self-improvement are futile.

Smoking occasionally (one or two cigarettes a month), and that too only when it has some instrumental benefit or the company necessitates it, is fine. Likewise, moderate social drinking is fine. But if you can’t resist the urge to smoke or drink then consider yourself to be way past the limit. As for doping, you should strictly keep away from every form of it. It is not worth your money and precious health.

Only a stupid person would be slave to his addictions.

5) Walk instead of using transportation

Make it a compulsive habit to walk short to moderately long distances instead of taking a vehicle or using public transportation. If you are short of time for where you have to reach, well, then walk faster!

I walk around three kilometers every day, which is because I don’t have scope to walk more. I wouldn’t mind walking up to ten kilometers a day or some more. If your circumstances allow you to walk about ten kilometers in a day, consider yourself lucky and walk.

Going to the market, hanging out with friends, running errands, going between home and the train station to and from work,.. All this can be done walking instead of using transportation.

6) Use low-end smartphone, till it goes outdated

Smartphone is a necessity. Using a smartphone as against a basic mobile phone increases one’s productivity tremendously. However, a low-end Android phone today does almost everything that a phone which is ten-times costlier does. Besides, the technology advances so fast that the features of today’s high-end phone would become available in the low-end phone in a year’s time.

The phone that I currently use is Motorola E series Android phone. It is sturdily built and has battery life matching that of high-end phones. It may lack some fancy features, but if you ask yourself what gains in productivity do people using the high-end phones achieve vis-à-vis those not using those phones, you will hardly find any. Mostly it just boils down to snob appeal. Men need not fall for it.

Corporations don’t want to manufacture products to last long. They not only want you to buy stuff you don’t need, but also want you to keep buying. It is called planned obsolescence. It means that a phone or a computer you would buy today is purposely designed to become obsolete before its physical life ends. They upgrade OS’s and technical specs at short intervals, so the phone you own today would not run the software/apps a few years later even if your phone is in good condition. Most people are gullible enough to change their phones in much shorter duration by falling into the trap these companies lay for them. Do not be one of them.

I have a friend who used an Android phone for 4 years till it went bad. His OS version (Android Froyo) did not support many of the apps that the subsequent versions of the OS did, but it did support many of the essential apps and that did the job for him. Do not be the fool to go and buy the latest device every time they are launched. Get new phone only and only when your current phone stops working or becomes absolutely outdated. You are not losing much, if anything at all.

7) Don’t go to expensive gym

Unless you aim to become muscular body-builder, there is no need to go to a gym at all. Buy dumbbells, a rod and a few weights, a bench, and learn exercises that can be done at home. You don’t necessarily need everything that I mentioned. A couple of dumbbells would suffice for basic exercises. YouTube is a great place to learn about various exercises and diet for fitness.

A half hour of weightlifting at home and an hour of walking outdoors should be sufficient for you to be the healthiest person in the neighborhood. If you can’t exercise every day, do it at least three days in a week.

8) Buy second-hand things

Barring electronics and clothes, there are many things that can be bought second-hand. Furniture, exercise weights, bicycle, books, etc. are some of the things that don’t spoil easily and if you find them in good condition they may give you years of usage with minimum spending.

Nowadays there are many websites (Olx.com for one) where you can buy second-hand stuff directly from the people who want to sell them. Take advantage of fools who want to sell perfectly good stuff as they are running on the hedonic treadmill of relentless consumerism.

9) Don’t use shampoo and deodorant

As a man you don’t need to use shampoo, and certainly not deodorant. There are alternatives to these products that not only cost nothing but also give surprisingly great results. See my detailed post about it.

10) Don’t spend crazy money on women, take the Red Pill

Only men who don’t really understand women spend money on fancy gifts and expensive dinners for women. Without the right personality the money you spend on women would bring you no success with them. And with the right personality women would love you even if you don’t spend a dime on them.

Gifts and dinners are overrated. I have had a hot girl who would give me sex and cook for me every time I went to her place. I never took her out to dinner, holiday, or gave her any gift. Not even a birthday present. I saw her for a few months and the total amount of money I spent on her is literally zero. And yet on my birthday I got an expansive shirt from her!

Most men in the world have no clue what women find attractive in men, and consequently they are terrible with women. Fortunately, today we have internet and there are many great men writing blogs to enlighten men about the nature of women, and a lot more about being a man.

Take the Red Pill. Follow these blogs in the mesosphere:

They would cover every aspect of masculinity from seduction and game, to hygiene and style, to society and politics. Everything that is needed to make one an exemplary man.

This article was originally published on Larry Darrell Blog. Follow Larry Darrell on Twitter, Facebook, or on WordPress.

How To Do Affirmations And Why They Work

In 2016, Scott Adams has been one of the most influential persons I came across. His book How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big is the best self-help book available today in my opinion. In that book, Adams offers many hacks to help one become more productive and efficient, and succeed in life.

One of the things that he talks about in the book is affirmations.

What Are Affirmations?

Affirmations are simply the practice of repeating to yourself what you want to achieve while imagining the outcome you want. You can write it, speak it, or just think it in sentence form. The typical form of an affirmation would be “I, Scott Adams, will become an astronaut.” – Scott Adams, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big, Chapter 24

When you want to achieve something in life, whether it is something material or in terms of any skill, you should say to yourself or write down on a piece of paper several times a day (10 to 15 times or more) that you will work for it and achieve it; and it vastly increases the odds of you achieving the desired thing.

Affirmations may not appeal to scientific minds, but let me assure you that I am not superstitious. I also don’t believe the pseudoscience of The Secret or the Law of Attraction and think that doing affirmations exerts some pressure on the universe to bend its laws in favor of the person doing affirmations. But I am convinced that they work.

Why Do I Believe In Affirmations?

The reason why the concept of affirmations appealed to me when I read about it in Adams’ book is partly because I had already employed them when I was younger and superstitious, and had seen success. I did them differently then and didn’t call them affirmations.

In those days, every night before going to sleep I used to recite some prayers and then say to myself, “I will do this-and-this”, “I will achieve this-and-this” and so on. I achieved many of the things I stated in my affirmations. But as I grew in age I stopped saying those prayers and affirmations, and thought I was superstitious for doing so. I also thought that I would have achieved them regardless of affirmations.

Now I strongly believe that affirmations did help me at least to some extent in those days. It’s just that the way the affirmations worked was different than what my superstitious mind thought at the time.

How To Do Affirmations?

You shouldn’t be too specific in your affirmations. For example, if your aim is to master guitar, don’t say “I will master guitar in two years“. Instead, just say “I will master guitar”. Understand that affirmations are not science like physics where you can apply x amount of force for y amount of time and be sure of the outcome. Leave out details like timelines from affirmations.

Keep the affirmations clear and short. Some examples below:

  • I will master guitar.
  • I will own a bigger house and a bigger car.
  • I will quit my corporate job.
  • I will make money online.
  • I will write a book.

Write them down on a piece of paper 10 to 15 times or more in a day. Or you can just say them aloud to yourself. Work with 5 to 6 affirmations regularly. More than that would be too many.

This way you are repeatedly affirming that you will achieve what you desire. It will vastly increase your odds of achieving those things.

How/Why Do Affirmations Work?

Human mind is a complex organism. It cannot be operated in a straightforward way as we would like to keep it. You can’t just say “I want achieve so-and-so”, and glide through the path to achieve the end. There are distractions and you lose focus. There are also demotivating factors that derail the mind.

But if you hack your mind, you can get it to do what you want from it.

Affirmations are a mind-hack. They keep the mind focused on goals. They keep reminding you of your destination so that your mind quickly spots the influences that are going to derail you. As a result, you avoid the negative influences before they affect you. And not only do you avoid the negative influences, you draw positive influences towards you, too.

For example, if one of your affirmations is “I will always stay lean and healthy”, it will be easy for you to stick to healthy diet, avoid smoking, and find ways to avoid any and all health problems. It’s like your mind will always be on the lookout for information and guidance for healthy living.

If your mind is reminded of 5 to 6 long term goals several times in a day then any time it is free it will divert its energy towards activities that take you closer to those goals. This may sound simplistic, but affirmations are actually more potent than one would be willing to agree. Affirmations are one of the best mind-hacks.

As a closing remark I would add with emphasis that for affirmations to work best it would help if one believes that affirmations work and one wants them to work.

Try affirmations instead of New Year’s resolutions this time.

This article was originally published on Larry Darrell Blog. Follow Larry Darrell on Twitter, Facebook, or on WordPress.

Ten Unlikable Social Traits to Avoid

As a man who wishes to improve himself, it is very important to become socially savvy.  Being socially savvy is all about having a confident personality but also to not come across as insufferable.  A likable man has a huge advantage over men who are boring or hard to interact with.  If people want to spend time with you, you will slowly but surely claim victories in other aspects of your life: relationships, career, building wealth, developing your hobbies, and even health.  Being likable and having a circle of well-wishers is a big boost to one’s psychological health which translates into less depression and less possibility of addictive compensatory behaviors.  Being social also opens the door to playing sports together and traveling together.

Many men make some very basic mistakes when interacting with others.  These mistakes have the effect of others wanting to avoid being with you.  These mistakes are easy to avoid and we wish more men could follow these basic rules!  Here they are:

  1. Never talk about money: how much something costs, where to get a deal, how much you or someone paid for something, how much you make, your investment choices, etc.  Only talk about money if someone else asks you.  And then too, don’t be too interested.  Subconsciously, money-minded people are seen as selfish and untrustworthy.
  2. Never ask someone to watch a video that you like, or listen to a song that you like, or to read a long internet post: On the internet, there are billions of interesting things.  Chances are: what you find interesting at a certain point in time may be seen as silly or inconsequential by others.  Why put yourself in that position?  By asking someone to spend their time to appreciate something that YOU like, you come across as selfish and boring.  It is ok to talk about non-fiction books though, because most people don’t have the time to read books (though they secretly want to), and by offering what you learnt from a book you are adding value to their life.  Don’t brag, but when the situation exists, describe what you learnt from a book in a way that adds to others’ knowledge.
  3. Never offer advice about diet or exercise or health till asked for.  Chances are, the other person has already searched the internet and has plenty of information.  When it comes to health, the problem most people have is related to willpower and discipline, not information.
  4. Never hijack conversations to show off your knowledge about something unrelated.
  5. Don’t argue over complex issues like politics, religion, art etc!  If there is a contentious issue being discussed, participate as if you are not emotionally invested in convincing others.  Someone who wants to change others to his point of view is not likable.  If you can’t build a common ground, it is better to understand the other person than to try to change his mind.  Participate in the discussion, but not in an emotionally insistent way that makes others wary of disagreeing with you.
  6. Don’t avoid looking at the other person.  Look into each others’ eyes when talking.  That way, you can continue to gauge their interest.  When a person looks away or down and continues to talk, it is a subconscious sign that he is talking to satisfy himself.  Nobody likes that.  Talk to the other person, not at them.  Your words and sentences are meant to build a bridge, not to make yourself look good in your own eyes.
  7. Don’t speak in long sentences, or beat around the bush.  Speak in short, easy to understand sentences and use common words.  First get to the point, and then explain further.  Don’t use wishy-washy words like “maybe”, “probably” when you are expressing an opinion.  When you exercise others’ patience, they become tired.  For example: “I agree, let’s do the second hike.  The first hike is longer.  We should do it another day.” instead of “The first hike is longer and even though I like it maybe we should do it another day.  Let’s do the second hike.”  You come across as more decisive and easy to relate to if you follow the former approach.
  8. Don’t talk ill of people that you both know.  It may offer instant gratification, but in the long term you will be seen as someone who talks about others behind their back.  Sooner or later there will be a disagreement between you and your gossip partner.  Then the gossip partner will be imagining that you are talking about him/her to others.  Never a good thing.  Let others gossip, but you should not be seen as an active gossiper.
  9. Never be very picky when it comes to food or drink.  If someone offers you something that you don’t like much, accept a very small portion instead of saying that you need something else.  If someone asks you what you’d like, offer some easy to satisfy choices.  For example, when someone asks you “What would you like to drink?”, some good answers are: “Whatever you are having”, or “What are my choices?” or “I can have a cup of tea”, or in a western setting “I can have a beer, or a glass of wine.”  You should demand a particular drink or food item at a restaurant.  As a guest at somebody’s home, you should be gracious and grateful.
  10. During every interaction, be the one who adds value, rather than tries to extract it.  Tell interesting stories, laugh at someone’s jokes, give them attention, ask for advice.  These are all things that make others feel good.  On the other hand, telling boring stories, telling jokes and expecting others to laugh, expecting attention, giving advice are all unlikable activities.

Most people are needy and insecure.  They don’t need another needy person to interact with.  They need someone who gives them attention.  They don’t want someone who demands attention from them.

 

Why βs Fail

Why do betas fail with women  To understand this, let’s start with the basics of the sexual marketplace.

Male sexual desire is stronger than in the female.  But so is the male survival skill, his martial and physical acumen, and his ability to provide.  Hence, (A) the male wants to buy the female sex, and to sell his commitment and protection.

By a fundamental law of economics, (B) the more valuable something is in the sexual marketplace, the less available it is.

Couple these two statements (A) and (B), and voila, the mystery is unraveled.  For a woman, to offer her sexuality cheaply marks her as sexually low-value.  Whether she is being a slut because she is low-value, or whether she is seen as low-value because of her sluttiness doesn’t matter.  In the sexual marketplace, both go hand in hand.  And low-value in this case means: no man would want to commit to such a woman.

Similarly, for a man, to offer his commitment and protection cheaply marks him as sexually low-value.  Traditionally, commitment and protection were offered by the woman’s kin or, after her marriage, by her husband.  In the modern world, there are plenty of women who are no longer protected by their kin, are financially self-sufficient, and are single.  For these women, commitment and protection translate into emotional and financial gratification/pleasure by their boyfriend or by her orbiters.

If a man is offering emotional and financial gratification to these women on the cheap (i.e. without any sexual favors from her in return), he is marking himself as low-value.  As before, it doesn’t matter whether he is putting her on a pedestal because he is low-value, or whether he is seen as low-value because of his groveling.  The fact is that he is offering the only thing he has to offer, his emotions and his time, for cheap.  His low-value then translates into: no woman wants to have sex with him.

In short: a slut (a low-value woman) and a beta (a low-value man) are offering their side of the bargain for free.  Hence, they are unattractive.  Men will use sluts for sex and discard them.  Women will use betas as emotional maxipads and discard them.

If you follow so far, then what is the lesson for you as a man?  Do not give your time, attention, Facebook likes, greeting cards, gifts, flowers, to a woman unless she is providing you what you want (i.e. her sexual affection).  And even then, don’t be too available or too eager.

She must win your attention by her femininity.  If you offer your attention to her for free, then she will look for someone who is better than that: who values himself more.

Even if you are in a relationship, you must make it clear by your behavior that you will only be with her and provide her with your company if she is a pleasure to be with: if she offers you something that you want.

A man who debases himself for a woman, is soon debased by his woman as well.

Why PUA tactics or Game is a Double-Edged Sword

PUA tactics and game are aimed at making you more attractive to women.  There are in general, two kinds of advice available: short-term manipulation (“Game”), and long-term evolution (“Self-improvement”).

Short-term manipulation is to “act alpha” and modulate your self to appear more interesting, social, attractive, “high-value” than you really are.  This kind of advice usually goes something like this: it is foolish to “just be what you are” with women, that won’t get you laid; you need to dress sharp, be witty and cocky, show high-value in a non-obvious way, exhibit “abundance mentality”, neg the woman, “flip the script”, act a bit aloof after building attraction (push-pull), be “fun” and outgoing, be the man she desires by emotionally connecting with her, etc.

Most of these are captured in the “sixteen commandments of poon” published at Chateau Heartiste.

Long-term evolution is to evolve your body, mind and spirit so that you are established and anchored in the strength of your personality and do not seek validation from women (or even from the vast majority of men).  It is to regard your body as a temple (eat healthy, exercise, stay away from dissipating habits), cultivate your intellect and skill-set, develop passions and hobbies in keeping with your personality.  Become actually affluent and socially respected.  And then … wait for the right woman to be attracted to you as matter of course.

Both of these strategies assume that having a sexual partner is the aim.  Only the means differ.

Which of these strategies is worthy of a man who respects himself and wants to live in the world with his head held high?

We believe that short-term manipulation in order to bed a woman is fun, but meaningless and psychologically dangerous.  It is like a drug which can get you addicted or make you feel exhausted and alienated  You will feel satisfied and disappointed in waves.  Each disappointment will have to be culled with another manipulation-fueled-conquest.

We encourage you to interact with women and to learn how their minds work, but beware of losing yourself in this game.  Ensure that you continue to cultivate your inner self.  Ensure that being a player in some situations does not diminish your ability to be authentic in other situations.

If you manipulate a woman into bed, the woman is having sex with a persona that you have managed to project.  Like it or not, a primary reason men want to have sex with women (instead of just masturbating) is because of the feeling of validation it provides.  But short-term manipulation defeats that purpose.  At the end of the encounter, you do not feel validated, just clever.  You pat yourself on the back for another “notch” and revel in the admiration of other men.

It is not very different from masturbation, though obviously it requires more skill and artistry and will win you others’ envy.

No matter what the PUA literature says, this behavior implicitly puts “pussy on the pedestal” and demeans yourself by following the rules-of-the-game as set by the target woman.  No matter what you tell yourself, you have lost “frame” as soon as you enter a bar or a room with the aim to seduce a woman.  As a rule, no emotional connection is possible in such encounters because you are carefully hiding your real self.  It is almost a purely physical culmination of an orchestrated attempt to woo the woman.

After many such encounters, the pick-up-artist might feel proud of his cleverness and others may feel envious of him, but he is no closer to feeling validated and respected as a man.  He has managed to orchestrate the woman into his bed, and he knows it.  All his notches have been due to his tactics, not his being.  Any self-aware pick-up-artist realizes this quandary but is unable to fully admit to himself, or to others, the self-defeating nature of his pursuit.

The only benefit of such encounters is to get experience with women and to develop certain skills: social intelligence, fashion sense, fitness, …) which are easy to exhibit.  Once again, be wary of letting this superficial persona define all of you.

What about long-term evolution?  We believe that there are very few women left who really gravitate toward a deep-thinking, intellectual, truly courageous, non-flippant, restrained man.  Such men were the heroes of yesteryears but today they would be relegated to involuntary celibacy, watching clowns and jocks get pussy left and right while they publish the next Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus (Wittgenstein published his grave philosophical opus at the age of 29).

The strategy of long-term evolution might seem better to a man with dignity than PUA-like manipulation, but this too has two fatal flaws:

  1. Women are just not turned on by deep thinkers any more.  An evolved man can continue to wait, and he will continue to wait.  Women of all kinds are just looking for fun, and not depth.  The only long-term evolution that will get you laid is to get rich and famous.
  2. You will spend your youth in celibacy or manipulating bimbos into bed, because true inner evolution isn’t instant; it takes a decade or two.

We believe that in current times, an intense focus on women is going to be the downfall of a man with potential.  Women are more than ever the gatekeepers of sex, and they are not interested in commitment except after riding the cock-carousel.  At that time, they are unworthy of a relationship with any man, what to say of an evolved man.

MGTOW, or men-going-their-own-way, movement is the most prominent articulation of the thought that modern women are just not worth the effort.  Short-term seduction is psychologically self-defeating, and long-term effort is not worth it (if the aim is a long-term-relationship) because of the quality of the women available at that stage.

We don’t advocate an MGTOW lifestyle, but we can see their point.  Most women these days are not worth more than a pump-and-dump, and they themselves want to be treated that way.  Treat them with love and respect, and they hate you.

Is there still a possibility of a fulfilling long-term-relationship in these times?  The only theoretical way is for an evolved man in his late thirties to attract a woman in her early twenties, from a traditional culture, and then domesticate her.  This is easier said than done.  Traditional cultures are becoming rarer by the day, and it is not easy to attune to a long-term partner from another culture.  Moreover, unless the man moves to that culture, the migration of the woman to the decadent western culture will make his relationship a battle against the toxic influences on his new, young wife.

What is our advice to men who value themselves?  Do not spend too much effort on pursuing women.  Be a fashionable man, be a suave, intelligent man, be a man in control of himself, cultivate your personality according to what you want.  Attract women passively, because that is not too big a waste of your energies.  If a woman is attracted to you, open yourself to her and let her charm you.  If no such women is forthcoming, continue your life’s work.

If you are too hungry for sex, learn game and take a woman (or ten of them) to bed.  But remember that those encounters are just entertainment, like going to a movie.  If you have to work twelve hours to watch a two hour movie, think about whether it is worth it.  If you find it fun to woo a woman, by all means go ahead.  If you find it a chore (as most deep-thinking men do), develop your skills and game to an extent (and that takes practice!) so that you can find a woman without much effort.

Don’t make women your life’s mission.  Nature never intended you to.

Avoid Porn like the Plague

One of the greatest drivers of internet growth is people’s desire for pornography.

While we are against banning of pornography because the state should have no say in what we can or cannot read or view (that is a slippery slope that quickly leads to a dictatorial censorship), we believe that men of substance should avoid pornography.

Pornography provides a man with orgasmic satisfaction which leads him to become less and less interested in his personality development.  As a result, his personality declines and he no longer remains an attractive potential mate for women.

Pornography makes it appear that women are as eager, if not more, as men about sex.  It doesn’t teach a man the importance of attraction and interaction that are important for social and sexual success.  Porn storylines escalate too quickly.  Real life is more challenging and one needs to know how to woo the woman properly.  If one becomes fond of porn, one will have no patience for the phase of seduction and courtship.  One will not have a real interest in other people and will want to bed every woman without putting in the effort.  Of course, that will lead to failure and a going back to porn for satisfaction.  It will become a vicious cycle.

Porn is also hyper-real.  The kind of bodies, sex organs and acts shown in porn are all unreal and use actors and special lighting and camera tricks.  After watching a lot of porn, it is extremely likely that real-life sex will seem like a pale echo of what the movies showed as possible.  That will again cause a going back to porn.

Porn will soon therefore become an addiction which will slowly chip away at your self-esteem, the strength of your personality, and your engagement with others.

There are many communities on the internet engaged in the “nofap” culture of not stimulating oneself via porn or via other means.  Many men in those communities go through a self-imposed no-masturbation period, and learn that their lives have dramatically changed for the better.

A great video which goes over the effects of porn is as below:

Stay away from porn.  Stay real.  Become an attractive man who has real experiences with women.  Porn is just living inside your head.  It is such a waste of your life to not venture out and be the best that you can be.