Documentary: Martyrs Of Marriage

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Below is the trailer of Deepika Bhardwaj’s documentary ‘Martyrs Of Marriage’, addressing the issues of false cases of dowry against men, a problem which has destroyed not only men’s lives but their entire families. It is used as a tool by women to either extract money or for revenge. Even children are not spared when it comes to fabricated allegations.

 

The following is Deepika Bhardwaj’s article titled I Am A Woman, But Here Is Why I Chose To Fight For Men

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor” -Desmond Tutu

Seeing my uncles leave their parents and set up separate homes no matter how much they loved their parents and wanted to keep them along was normal for me as a young girl. I never bothered to think about it. Though I saw the pain in the eyes of these old and ailing parents, I thought that it was probably more important for a man to listen to his wife than to those who had brought him up in this world, taught him how to walk, and made him the man he is today. I grew up and saw a few of these men completely snapped from family ties, but once again I never bothered to inquire much.

Three years ago, I was forced to THINK.

A very dear friend of mine was on the brink of a divorce a year after his marriage and two months after his parents had started living with the couple. His wife gave him two options: leave his parents forever or divorce with a huge sum. He chose the latter. I still remember endless drives where he spoke less and cried more for that decision. He never wanted to break his marriage but was forced to. He was also forced to pay a price that was worth his and his parents’ life’s savings. This time, though I did wonder to myself why he was paying so much, I did not get too much into the reasons.

Two years ago, I was forced to ACT.

It happened again, this time very close to me. A young boy (my cousin), who had fallen in love with the “innocence” of this girl, was cheatedand cheated beyond explanation. She was a dream to him; he was a tissue for her. He married her to make a home; she married him for society’s tag. She loved another man, and this marriage was just part of the plan! He felt humiliated. She felt victorious. He did not want her to go. She wanted a divorce. He consented to an amicable separation. She cried, DOWRY! My cousin was given two choices: divorce with a huge sum or a dowry case and his family behind bars!

I accompanied my cousin to meet a retired judge and seek guidance. There had been no dowry demand and the girl was lying. “Truth has no significance,” the judge said. “As a husband, you can do nothing to save you and your family if she wants to file a dowry case. It doesn’t matter if you are right or she is wrong. What she says is right.” I was enraged. I told him that we had evidence! He laughed, saying, “A woman isn’t punished for adultery in this country. However, she can file endless false cases against you, get you arrested under 498A, and make you run around courts for years until you satisfy her demands. She’s a woman.”

My cousin was also extorted. I saw his family’s trauma and his transition from a cheerful boy to a shattered man. I still can’t forget his screams. That’s when I understood why my friend had paid, why my cousin had paid, and why men compromise.

After my cousin’s case, suddenly I saw it happening everywhere. Or perhaps what I had ignored for years was now staring me in the face. I started researching dowry cases and realized that what the media had told me wasn’t the only truth. The deeper I went, the uglier the reality was behind these cases. The other side of 498A left me utterly confused as a woman: How can I use a law when I am wrong? How can it allow me to play with anyone’s life? How can it be used as a weapon? How can “she” always be right and he “always” be wrong? How can it allow a woman to get away with so many lies? One night I stumbled upon a suicide video of Syed Ahmed Makhdoom, in which he described false 498A and his ordeal as the reason behind his death. It changed my life.

I could no longer ignore. I could no longer be neutral and side with the oppressor. That’s when I decided to raise my voice against the misuse of laws by women and fight for those who have never been considered victims: men.

Increasingly, men in India are becoming victims of systematic abuse through gender-biased laws. Laws in which a man’s innocence doesn’t matter, where he is presumed guilty, and where a mere verbal accusation by a woman makes him a puppet in the hands of the police and judiciary for years to come. Laws in which he is humiliated, abused, extorted, and pushed to the brink for being a man!

In the past two years, I have come across thousands of these casescases where broken marriages have turned into dowry cases, failed affairs have turned into rape cases, appraisal rejections have turned into sexual harassment cases, property disputes have turned into outraging modesty, and street fights have turned into molestationjust because a woman now has the power to “feel” like a victim any way she wants and her words are enough to nail a man.

The misuse of laws isn’t the only issue. Another problem is the absolute apathy toward the problems of men. There is no law in India that recognizes violence toward men by his spouse/partner. There is no law in India to analyze the abuse of men by women. There is no law in India that clocks murders/burnings/suicides of married men by their wives or in-laws (like dowry deaths of women). India’s domestic violence actwhich recognizes emotional, economical, physical, and sexual violence – doesn’t accept men as the victims of any of this violence. Despite the fact that the number of men committing suicide in India is twice the number of women, there is not a single helpline dedicated to men. And forget about having any laws for married men; if a married man who is abused uses his only optiondivorcehe can rest assured that his wife will launch a dozen similar cases against him. So from being a victim he becomes an accused!

Women’s right activists often argue with me that the number of abused men is much lower. I ask, When there is no law to assess their abuse, how can there be numbers? Moreover, numbers is not my game, nor is holding placards with statistics my bread and butter. My fight is against the injustice toward men in the name of justice toward women – even if it’s for just one man. I wish to help every man who is a victim of this systematic abuse and hope to fight until justice stops looking through the eyes of gender.

 

Gender Wage Gap Does Not Exist

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It is clear as daylight that feminism is a cult which aims to send women in the workforce to destroy family life, and brainwashes women to take men’s jobs and work outside the home even though women are inefficient compared to men. If that is not enough, there is further propaganda under the guise of gender wage gap.

Since a while now, there have been cries over women not receiving the same pay as men. That, quite frankly, is amusing. If the gender wage gap was true, everyone would hire women and save money, however, that is not the case. This is because the so called gender wage gap does not exist. It is a myth, a propaganda to propel women’s victim status. The feminist cult thrives on the evergreen image of women as victims.

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No two people in the world are paid the same. Whether it is two pilots, two teachers, two doctors, two engineers, or two people in any profession. There is always a difference in academic credentials, experience, work ethics, what you bring to the table, number of hours worked, skill set, punctuality and attendance, etc. Everyone is different.

Women are known to take more time off, especially maternity leave, and work less number of hours than men. Anyone with common sense knows that if you take more days off from work, you cannot be expected to be paid the same as someone who works more hours than you.

Women choose easier courses in college, such as arts and humanities, whereas men opt for engineering and science. Women take easier courses, then compare themselves with men who toil with much tougher subjects. Obviously, someone with a degree in humanities cannot be expected to be paid the same as an engineer.

Men work the most dangerous jobs in the world, which is another reason why men are paid more. 97% workplace deaths are of men. Coal miners, roofers, truck drivers, iron and steel workers, garbage collectors, sewage cleaners, scaffolders, construction laborers, linemen, alligator wrestlers, lion tamers, etc –  women are welcome to work these jobs in their quest for equality.

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Civilization has been built on the bodies of dead men. Men have sacrificed tears, blood, and sweat to feed women and children. Of course, women have shown nothing but apathy and ingratitude. Men have been victimized, and portrayed as villains.

Men: The Forgotten Gender

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In the TEDx talk, Deepika Bhardwaj talks about how false cases of dowry, rape, and domestic violence have destroyed men and their families. Even minors have not been spared. It has also affected women, as mothers, sisters, and daughters of the falsely accused have suffered. Many female relatives have also been imprisoned. I wonder where feminism is for these women.

  • Between 1998 and 2015 more than 2.7 million people have been arrested under 498A alone, higher than any other crime under IPC except theft, hurt and riots.
  • 650,000 women who were arrested were sisters, mothers and relatives of the man many of whom had never stayed with the couple sharing a domestic relationship.
  • Most of these people were arrested on mere allegations without investigations.
  • 7,700 minors were also arrested in 498A cases.
  • Convictions rate under 498A dropped down to 13.7% in 2014, making it one amongst few sections under IPC that have a poor conviction record.
  • Several families have been destroyed because of incarceration due to a false case or running around courts for years and years.
  • Most people choose to quietly give in to legal extortion under these cases to escape decades of trial and harassment for no fault of theirs. (Source: A Times)

 

A Female Boss Refuses To Hire Women

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The article was originally published on Clarissa’s blog

Over the years, I have hired outstanding women – educated, intelligent and highly articulate. Yet, I am exhausted. I have become profoundly tired of being a therapist and a babysitter, of being drawn into passive-aggressive mental games and into constantly questioning my own worth as a manager. I have had several women who quit to stay home to “figure out what to do next”. No, not to stay home and care for children, but to mooch of a husband or a boyfriend while soul searching (aka: taking a language class or learning a new inapplicable skill that could be acquired after work). Incidentally, I have not had a single male employee quit with no plan in mind.

I have had women cry in team meetings, come to my office to ask me if I still like them and create melodrama over the side of the office their desk was being placed. I am simply incapable of verbalizing enough appreciation to female employees to satiate their need for it for at least a week’s worth of work. Here is one example to explain. My receptionist was resigning and, while in tears, she told me that although she was passionate about our brand and loved the job, she could not overcome the fact that I did not thank her for her work. It really made me stop in my tracks and so I asked for an example. “Remember when I bought the pictures with butterflies to hang in the front? And you just came and said ‘thank you’? That is a perfect example!” – “Wait”, I said, “So, I did thank you then?” – “Yes! But you did not elaborate on what exactly you liked about them! Why didn’t you?” She had bought them with the company credit card and I actually did not like them at all, but I digress.

I have developed a different approach for offering constructive criticism to male and female employees. When I have something to say to one of the men, I just say it! I don’t think it through – I simply spit it out, we have a brief discussion and we move on. They even frequently thank me for the feedback! Not so fast with my female staff. I plan, I prepare, I think, I run it through my business partner and then I think again. I start with a lot of positive feedback before I feel that I have cushioned my one small negative comment sufficiently, yet it is rarely enough. We talk forever, dissect every little piece of it, and then come back to the topic time and time again in the future. And I also have to confirm that I still like them – again and again, and again.

I am also yet to have a single male employee come to my office to give me dirt on a co-worker or share an awkward gossip-like story. My female employees though? Every. single. one.

When I opened my company, I was excited for many reasons. One of them was wanting to make it an amazing place for women to build their careers. After all, we were two women, both mothers with very small children, opening a company in a very competitive industry. I was going to celebrate the achievements of my female hires, encourage them to find their voices, celebrate their pregnancies and year-long maternity leaves, be understanding and accommodating when they would have to juggle work/daycare/school schedules. Yet, I had no idea that the problems women faced in their workplace were often far removed from the typical inequalities feminism continues to address. It is not men who sabotage women and stump their career growth – it is women themselves!

 

Men Are Easy Targets Of False Rape Cases

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Draconian Indian laws have landed the ball in women’s court, where a woman can land a man behind bars simply by pointing a finger at him. A woman is innocent until proven guilty, however, a man is guilty until proven innocent. Often, a woman’s word is taken as evidence, and is enough to destroy a man’s life. Even if a man is able to prove himself innocent, his image in society is tarnished, he faces depression, his job prospects are destroyed, and it greatly impacts his family.

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The reasons for a woman filing a false rape case are many, and can be read in the compilation termed false rape filesbut the lunacy has reached a level where if you save a woman from drowning, you can be charged with rape, or if you have sex, you better make sure she enjoys it, otherwise don’t be surprised if you are accused falsely!

False Rape

Countless men have spent years behind bars for crimes they did not commit, courtesy of false cases, and in today’s world, women are portrayed as victims whereas men are the real victims. The entire justice system is biased in women’s favor, and innocent men rotting in jail is not news anymore. The message is clear: only women are human beings.

It is surprising that the Nirbhaya rape case got undivided attention, media coverage, televised discussions, and a documentary was made on it, however, an innocent man in Nagaland who was accused falsely and then dragged over 7 kms, pelted with stones, beaten with sticks, kicked, punched, and finally hung – was not news. The accuser was not punished, neither was the public who murdered an innocent man. Everyone walked away scot free, after killing a man so brutally and viciously.

Dimapur lynching: It was ‘consensual sex’ not rape, says Nagaland govt report

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The public did not bother to investigate whether he was guilty or not. Just on a woman’s word, he became a criminal and was lynched. He was stripped naked, bled profusely as he was beaten with fists and sticks, people hurled stones at him, but the worst part was how they clicked his photos, as if it was some kind of entertainment.

Children lost a father, a woman lost a husband, a mother lost a son. If feminism is about women’s rights, then where was feminism for his wife and mother?

Many innocent men do jail time for years. In Cleveland, Raymond Towler was sentenced for rape in 1981, only to be cleared 29 years later. I wonder how many Raymond Towler’s there are in the world, rotting behind bars.

 

Men: The Real Victims Of Domestic Violence

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More than half of the victims of domestic violence are men, especially because violence is not just limited to physical violence. Psychological abuse is just as bad, if not worse. Studies show that women are more violent than men, but the media never covers men’s issues and problems. Men themselves are hesitant to talk about being battered by their wives, since men feel it is embarrassing for a man to be beaten by a woman. Even the police is uncooperative and laugh at male victims.

DNA India reports:

A new survey has found that no less than 98% of Indian urban husbands say they have faced domestic violence in one form or the other during married life.

Nagging, grumbling, taunting, name calling, refusing food, denying sexual intercourse, abusing parents and family members, snatching salary, throwing objects, scratching with nails and biting, threats of suicide and even eviction from the house were some of the common forms of abuse mentioned. But perhaps the most serious was framing of false charges under the Indian Penal Code.

The term ‘domestic violence’ itself is used to automatically mean ‘domestic violence against women’ whereas this could not be further from the truth. Men are not only victimized more, but also ignored. 100% of domestic violence shelters are for women. None for men! This is the height of misandry and discrimination against men.

If you take a stance against domestic violence against men, you can become a victim of death threats, as was the case with activist Erin Pizzey:

Pizzey has been the subject of death threats and boycotts because of her research into the claim that most domestic violence is reciprocal, and that women are equally capable of violence as men.

The double standards of domestic violence are also sickening. It is acceptable and even amusing when a woman hits a man, but suddenly it becomes wrong if a man hits a woman, even if it to defend himself. If a woman attacks a man with a knife and he pushes her in self-defense and she falls down, hurts herself and calls the police, it is not difficult to guess who the police will arrest. It will be the man. There have been countless cases of such a nature.

One must ask, where are the images of battered men? Why is the media silent on violence against men? Why are women who file false cases of domestic violence not punished by the law? Why are there no domestic violence shelters for men? Why the double standards regarding domestic violence? Why the injustice towards men?

Domestic violence does not have a gender. Violence is violence.

The video below is a social experiment. In the first half, the man is abusive towards the woman. The public takes it seriously, intervenes, and even threaten to call the police. In the second half, the woman is shown as being abusive, but onlookers just stand and watch, some even smile, finding the incident amusing.

The Hidden Agenda Of Feminists

Below are some quotes by feminist leaders, revealing the true intentions behind the movement:

“The nuclear family must be destroyed, and people must find better ways of living together.” – Linda Gordon, Function of the Family, Women: A Journal of Liberation, Fall, 1969.

“We can’t destroy the inequities between men and women until we destroy marriage.” – Robin Morgan, Sisterhood is Powerful, 1970, p.537.

“No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one.” — Simone de Beauvoir, “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975, p.18

“Marriage has existed for the benefit of men; and has been a legally sanctioned method of control over women… We must work to destroy it. The end of the institution of marriage is a necessary condition for the liberation of women. Therefore it is important for us to encourage women to leave their husbands and not to live individually with men.” -The Declaration of Feminism, November 1971.

“Women, like men, should not have to bear children… The destruction of the biological family, never envisioned by Freud, will allow the emergence of new women and men, different from any people who have previously existed.” — Alison Jagger – Political Philosophies of Women’s Liberation: Feminism and Philosophy (Totowa, NJ: Littlefield, Adams & Co. 1977).

“In order to raise children with equality, we must take them away from families and communally raise them.” – Dr. Mary Jo Bane, feminist and assistant professor of education at Wellesley College and associate director of the school’s Center for Research on Woman.

Women are being sold the idea that work outside the home is the most important thing in life, and having a career is a priority for women. More and more women are sacrificing their families and destroying their marriages for a paycheck. Feminism is controlling women’s lives, and it is unnatural.

According to the fascist movement, if men are able to earn, then so should women. Feminism is about imitating men in work, behavior, clothing, preferences, etc. If promiscuity is seen among men, women should follow suit. If dedication towards career is observed in men, women should focus on their careers as well. Since men love sports, women should too. Then follow the shaming tactics. If you are not a feminist, there is something wrong with you. You are labelled uncouth, uncultured, uneducated. Women’s femininity has been snatched away. We see women with masculine traits everywhere.

Women are easy to brainwash. In the late 1920s, Edward Bernays was hired to encourage smoking among women, under the label of Torches Of Freedom. Smoking among women increased dramatically, all under the guise of equality and liberation. It isn’t any different today.

Women may feel empowered behaving against their natural tendencies, but at what cost? Women are chasing the high of wanting power, while sacrificing their own happiness. Many women, in pursuit of their careers, delay their marriage but past their prime age find it difficult to get married, many don’t have children or delay having them, only to regret afterwards, many even freeze their eggs to have children later. That is the height of insanity!

Women today are depressed, because feminism has given them a depressing life. Feminism has created a society of narcissistic women brainwashed to believe they are right about everything.

When men were solely responsible for providing, humanity went from hunters to world conquerors. Men conquered nature, seas, and even space. Men provided food, developed societies that cared for one another, and children were brought up in loving, caring families.

Everything we have today in science, technology, medicine, arts, etc. is courtesy of the patriarchy. It is amusing that women reap all the benefits of the patriarchy while crying that it must be abolished at the same time. However, I do not see any patriarchy anywhere. All the political, economical, social, and legal privileges are bestowed on women. We see female privilege everywhere. On the blog ‘Men’s Resistance’, a woman lists 97 privileges she enjoys because she is a woman. 

Yet in the past 60 years or so, since feminism has raised its ugly head, women have been forced to work in the name of independence, divorce rates have shot through the roof, there has been an insane rise in daycare centers, demand for nannies and babysitters has gone berserk, children have been lost to drugs and alcohol,  majority of criminals have been found to be raised by single parents, depression and anxiety is at an all time high,  suicide rates have increased at an alarming rate, along with a host of other problems.

Gloria Steinem told the world that a woman needs a man as a fish needs a bicycle. (The Gloria Steinem’s of today dictate what men should do, how they must behave, what they must think, how they must act, etc. without every taking responsibility for their own actions). However, women have needed men in every sphere of life, and they always will.