Hear a father’s heart-rending story:
Watch how one lady exposes the business of 498A, and in related reading see the article: The Double Standard For Dowry
Masculinity is not only about physical strength and aggressive behavior but also, among other things, about patience, composure and overall intelligent living.
The present day social environment is increasingly filled with toxic ideologies and information disseminated by the popular media and by anybody with an internet connection and a blog. Therefore, I think that masculinity in the present day has an added meaning of being able to wade through the misinformation-overload of the unprecedented scale and live in a way that is least harmful to oneself, and most beneficial to the society. After all, it is men who build and run the society (for the most part).
We are living in the consumer culture. It is a culture wherein individuals are constantly encouraged to buy stuff, even the stuff that they don’t need. Through systematic brainwashing the corporations are creating needs in people’s minds that would never have arisen otherwise. Where there is a corporation, there is a system in place that ensures that all the money that you earn (mostly from working for one of them) goes back right to the corporations. And they are present in almost every sphere of life today. Foods, clothing, entertainment, electronics, media, everywhere!
In a world like this, frugal living is intelligent living. As a man, one must know to live intelligently.
Below are some of the ways towards that end:
1) Do without accessories, except a wrist-watch
I am referring to accessories like chains, bracelets or wrist-bands, rings etc. made of metal or any other material that many men wear. Such accessories are for women and feminine men.
Women traditionally have been adorning their bodies with accessories to attract attention of men. Men need no such thing. For men, it is their masculine attitude which comprises of strength, confidence, composure, etc. that creates attraction in the opposite sex.
The only accessory that I find useful is a wrist-watch. Get a sturdy watch that has an eye-catching dial, and either metal or resin strap. Leather straps soon turn smelly with sweating, and otherwise are not as durable as metal or resin straps. I currently have a Casio Illuminator watch with resin strap which has a dial that is both digital and analogue. It sports a look that is suitable for both formal and casual settings.
Keep in mind the objectives: A single watch that is 1) durable, 2) has a dial that stands out 3) is suitable for formal as well as casual setting, and 4) is low to moderately priced.
2) Have single pair of jeans, and a few plain t-shirts
Have only one pair of jeans and a few (three to four) plain cotton t-shirts. Go for jeans of the fit that is currently in fashion and get them in dark color (indigo or dark grey). For t-shirts, keep them plain and of the colors that are in contrast with the jeans. Light grey, yellow and khaki are some of the best colors in my opinion as they don’t easily show the signs of aging unlike black, navy blue, brown etc. that take on a lighter shade after a number of washes. Light gray, for example, would not betray that it is being worn for months unless it is torn or has got holes in it. Plain white t-shirt is also good, except that it would catch stains easily.
A pair of branded jeans might cost you somewhat dearly but they last a long time. Jeans are rugged and durable clothing. A one-time investment should last you at least a couple of years. Plain t-shirts on the other hand are normally the cheapest of clothing articles in a mall, even the good quality ones. Go for low to mid-range ones and do not compromise much on quality because one of the primary goals is also durability.
On a well-toned body this combination looks classy any day. There is no need to go for colorful and flashy jeans and shirts like you are going for a party. Flashy clothing is for women and feminine men who lack natural traits in their personality to make them attractive.
This does not mean that you would have no other clothes. You might occasionally need some party wear and a few formal clothes if your workplace requires wearing formals. The above, however, should comprise your go-to wear for hanging out with friends, going out on casual occasions, picnics and even on dates.
3) Say no to junk food
I read this advice somewhere: Be skeptical of eating anything that did not exist when your grandfather was a kid. It is a great advice if you see through it.
Modern food industry through prolific use of advertising seems to have convinced people that they are supposed to eat virtually all the time. A zillion varieties of processed and junk foods are available in a zillion different types of packaging or are served in restaurants at nearly every street corner. Now people want to eat when they are travelling, taking a stroll, or even when they are just bored!
Most of the food that the urban population is eating is useless, and harmful. All processed foods, that is, foods that come in packets, tins, bottles, are junk. All foods made of white flour are junk. Out go the window all bread items (even the so-called whole grain bread) like pizzas, burgers and sandwiches. All food items that are deep-fried are junk. All food items made with excessive use of butter, cheese, mayonnaise, sauces and spices are junk. As far as I know, all Chinese food is junk too. A rule of thumb: Just about all the food that is “fast” and advertised is junk.
Eat home-made food. Food made with wheat flour, like roti. Curries made with pulses and fresh vegetables, brown rice, salad,.. If you need to munch on something for time-pass, eat nuts. I am vegetarian, so I don’t know much about non-veg food, but I would say avoid eating anything that is preserved and cooked in a way that kills nutrients and adds a lot of fat to it. And while we are at it, eat heavy meals only when hungry and never stuff your stomach.
I am not proposing ascetic life here. It is impossible to stay away from temptation to eat junk food 100% of the times. However, setting a rule around it helps. You can set a rule to have the aforementioned junk food only once a week, or twice at most. That is my rule at this time. Someone with more discipline may keep it once a month or so.
If you are not already practicing moderation, ask yourself how much money you spend on the junk food and you might be surprised. It is a great money saver as well as immensely benefits health. Makes it much easier to keep the body in good shape. When the body is healthy, so is the mind.
4) Don’t smoke, drink or dope
If you smoke, drink, or dope as a habit then there is no point reading this guide any further. You are wasting your money and damaging your body and mind in such major way that all other efforts at self-improvement are futile.
Smoking occasionally (one or two cigarettes a month), and that too only when it has some instrumental benefit or the company necessitates it, is fine. Likewise, moderate social drinking is fine. But if you can’t resist the urge to smoke or drink then consider yourself to be way past the limit. As for doping, you should strictly keep away from every form of it. It is not worth your money and precious health.
Only a stupid person would be slave to his addictions.
5) Walk instead of using transportation
Make it a compulsive habit to walk short to moderately long distances instead of taking a vehicle or using public transportation. If you are short of time for where you have to reach, well, then walk faster!
I walk around three kilometers every day, which is because I don’t have scope to walk more. I wouldn’t mind walking up to ten kilometers a day or some more. If your circumstances allow you to walk about ten kilometers in a day, consider yourself lucky and walk.
Going to the market, hanging out with friends, running errands, going between home and the train station to and from work,.. All this can be done walking instead of using transportation.
6) Use low-end smartphone, till it goes outdated
Smartphone is a necessity. Using a smartphone as against a basic mobile phone increases one’s productivity tremendously. However, a low-end Android phone today does almost everything that a phone which is ten-times costlier does. Besides, the technology advances so fast that the features of today’s high-end phone would become available in the low-end phone in a year’s time.
The phone that I currently use is Motorola E series Android phone. It is sturdily built and has battery life matching that of high-end phones. It may lack some fancy features, but if you ask yourself what gains in productivity do people using the high-end phones achieve vis-à-vis those not using those phones, you will hardly find any. Mostly it just boils down to snob appeal. Men need not fall for it.
Corporations don’t want to manufacture products to last long. They not only want you to buy stuff you don’t need, but also want you to keep buying. It is called planned obsolescence. It means that a phone or a computer you would buy today is purposely designed to become obsolete before its physical life ends. They upgrade OS’s and technical specs at short intervals, so the phone you own today would not run the software/apps a few years later even if your phone is in good condition. Most people are gullible enough to change their phones in much shorter duration by falling into the trap these companies lay for them. Do not be one of them.
I have a friend who used an Android phone for 4 years till it went bad. His OS version (Android Froyo) did not support many of the apps that the subsequent versions of the OS did, but it did support many of the essential apps and that did the job for him. Do not be the fool to go and buy the latest device every time they are launched. Get new phone only and only when your current phone stops working or becomes absolutely outdated. You are not losing much, if anything at all.
7) Don’t go to expensive gym
Unless you aim to become muscular body-builder, there is no need to go to a gym at all. Buy dumbbells, a rod and a few weights, a bench, and learn exercises that can be done at home. You don’t necessarily need everything that I mentioned. A couple of dumbbells would suffice for basic exercises. YouTube is a great place to learn about various exercises and diet for fitness.
A half hour of weightlifting at home and an hour of walking outdoors should be sufficient for you to be the healthiest person in the neighborhood. If you can’t exercise every day, do it at least three days in a week.
8) Buy second-hand things
Barring electronics and clothes, there are many things that can be bought second-hand. Furniture, exercise weights, bicycle, books, etc. are some of the things that don’t spoil easily and if you find them in good condition they may give you years of usage with minimum spending.
Nowadays there are many websites (Olx.com for one) where you can buy second-hand stuff directly from the people who want to sell them. Take advantage of fools who want to sell perfectly good stuff as they are running on the hedonic treadmill of relentless consumerism.
9) Don’t use shampoo and deodorant
As a man you don’t need to use shampoo, and certainly not deodorant. There are alternatives to these products that not only cost nothing but also give surprisingly great results. See my detailed post about it.
10) Don’t spend crazy money on women, take the Red Pill
Only men who don’t really understand women spend money on fancy gifts and expensive dinners for women. Without the right personality the money you spend on women would bring you no success with them. And with the right personality women would love you even if you don’t spend a dime on them.
Gifts and dinners are overrated. I have had a hot girl who would give me sex and cook for me every time I went to her place. I never took her out to dinner, holiday, or gave her any gift. Not even a birthday present. I saw her for a few months and the total amount of money I spent on her is literally zero. And yet on my birthday I got an expansive shirt from her!
Most men in the world have no clue what women find attractive in men, and consequently they are terrible with women. Fortunately, today we have internet and there are many great men writing blogs to enlighten men about the nature of women, and a lot more about being a man.
Take the Red Pill. Follow these blogs in the mesosphere:
They would cover every aspect of masculinity from seduction and game, to hygiene and style, to society and politics. Everything that is needed to make one an exemplary man.
My Name is Sahul Kundara. It’s February 20th today. I got married to Varsha on November 10, 2014 and we were living together since August 2015. Varsha and her family members always threatened to implicate me in false cases. They demanded 8 lac rupees from me. When I asked them from where I will bring so much money, they said that they don’t care about that.
They poisoned me and when I wanted to complain, in conspiracy with my in-laws, the ASI or SI Ajeet beat me up outside the police station saying “M*****r F*****r, you will file a case against these people?”
He asked me about my caste and when I told him I am a Bairwa (Schedule Caste), he abused me over my caste saying “Have you forgotten your place? You lower caste people will form relationship with upper caste people? I will strip your skin and make a shoe out of it and wear. And if you dare speak up again, I will get you behind bars in a rape case.”
This entire episode was a planning of Varsha, her parents and her relatives along with the policeman. All this happened at the Rajender Park police station. They forced me to sign on papers that I ate some medicine beyond its expiry date which was all a lie. They had poisoned me. They threatened me that they will put my entire family also behind bars and that I should do what they are saying. I went into deep mental trauma after that. These people are very powerful and they can do anything.
I had a cousin named Ajay, he was no less than my own brother. He completed Chartered Accountancy course in 2009 and he was of 26 years that time. He was also a M.Com graduate and MA in Economics.. He used to give free coaching to 11th and 12th commerce students and he also used to teach B.Com and MBA students while he was still studying CA. After he completed CA, he started private practice and he also kept up his coaching classes. Life was perfect for him. Then the elders came together and decided to look for the perfect girl for him. But he had already decided whom to marry. Her name was Anjali, and she was one of his classmate from where he got his M.Com degree. At first all the elders were against it because of a caste problem but then they agreed for his happiness. Everything went as planned, everything was alright for 3 months, then she started to show her real demonic form. She started to quarrel with him over very small things like wearing a blue shirt, listening to regional folk music, using a certain soap, coaching some children for free at the terrace of the house.
He somehow kept a lid on all of these because his father was a heart patient. One day it struck, his second heart attack and he was somewhat completely paralyzed. After this he needed special attention. She started yelling at him saying “I’m not here to look after your sick parents” so he appointed a house nurse. She had a problem with that too. He used to earn a good deal of money, the majority of which was used by her for shopping and unnecessary things and stuff like that. He started to fall short of money for his father’s treatment even though he used to earn around 1.5 lacs per month. He asked her to control her spending so that he wouldn’t have to take a loan for his father. She started a big fight for that also and started to demand that they move out and live separately..
He got angry at that and slapped her. His life ended then and there itself. She screamed like mad and swore that she would ruin his life and went to her parents’ home. Her father is a retired public prosecutor. My brother and all of us thought that she would automatically come back when she realizes her mistake, but she didn’t come, instead the police came, and without listening to anyone they dragged him, his mother and his wheelchair ridden father like dogs in the middle of night. Unfortunately his father died even before they reached the police station, his mother’s health deteriorated drastically and in an interval of just 4 days he lost both his parents, even he committed suicide …. all this because of a false allegation of domestic violence and dowry harassment.
The above is an account narrated by Ajay’s cousin.
Below Is His Suicide Note:
My wife started behaving strangely from the beginning of the marriage itself. She used to get angry and leave home anytime, sometimes in the nights also. I used to go and beg her to come back inside home. She used to tell me that she was engrossed in meditation of her Guruji and did not want to get married. Her parents married her as asked by her Guruji. I used to tell about her behaviour to her parents and her sister also but they never listened to me.
After few months of our marriage she got pregnant and I thought everything may become okay once the kid comes. But nothing changed even after that. Within few days of the child being born she became even more abusive towards me. She beat me up couple of times during our fights. Once when we went to her place and her sister tried to advice her, she picked up a knife and tried to slit her hand. She abused my parents all the time. They used to come earlier to see their grandchild sometimes, but after seeing her behaviour, they also stopped coming at my home. She used to accuse my parents of doing wrong things with their own grandchild. I wonder who someone can accuse grandparents of a small child like that.
Her superstitions, her insecurity became a threat for my family. She is deeply involved in superstitious activities and wants to involve our daughter also into that. She revers some guru who is no more alive. But she still keeps on chanting about him all the time. She says that the Guru talks to her. I don’t know how can a dead man talk to a person? What kind of thought process is that? She keeps threatening me that she will get me and my parents behind bars. Who threatens like that? I felt worse when she said that the baby is not mine but Guruji’s. That it is the Guruji who has given the child. If it is Guruji who has given the child, then why wasn’t the child born before marriage?
Her family members knew about this condition of hers. Still they married her with me and destroyed me and my family. She has traumatized me mentally to a point where I just cannot take it anymore. I fear for my daughter. No one can live with a person with such psychic behaviour ever. I am afraid she will turn by daughter also as same. There is so much mental pressure every day. Her parents have played foul with me. They knew she is like this. They thought they would marry her anyways, whether it works or not will be the in-laws tension then. Only I know how I have lived this mental trauma since my marriage. I am tired of listening to her taunts and hence decided to end my life to find some peace. Every day I have to attend so many patients in the OPD. When I come back home in the evening, she creates hell for me. She had made my life hell. She says I use my daughter. How can a mother talk like that?
This lady and her family members have tortured me so much that I see no other option but to end my life. I just don’t know what I will do to myself. Her behavior, superstitious beliefs, quarreling nature and mental torture she inflicts on me has made it impossible for me to live with this woman. Please listen to the recordings I have done to understand what I was going through. Please save my daughter from this torture. No normal person can bear this kind of mental torture. Please save my daughter. Please save my daughter. I request my colleagues, media and society to help my family and save my child. I hope the law punishes this woman and her family so that no other person has to commit suicide like this.
Below are 10 movies that highlight the manipulative, cunning, and cruel side of women, which is a reality in everyday life.
1. A Mother’s Nightmare
Vanessa moves fast to claim Chris for her own, taking his time away and distancing him from his family and friends. His mom, Maddie, is disturbed by their sudden relationship and when she discovers a secret of Vanessa’s and she uses all her resources to convince Chris to end it. Angered and vengeful, Vanessa accuses Chris of a heinous act that turns the school against him and sparks an online attack. When things get violent, Vanessa plans her next move and Maddie must find out Vanessa’s game before she loses her son forever.
Cyberbully follows Taylor Hillridge (Emily Osment), a teenage girl who falls victim to online bullying, and the cost it nearly takes on her and her family. When her mom gives her a computer for her birthday, Taylor is excited by the prospect of freedom and the independence of going online without her mother always looking over her shoulder. However, Taylor soon finds herself the victim of betrayal and bullying while visiting a social website, and afraid to face her peers at school, including her best friend (Kay Panabaker), she is pushed to a breaking point.
3. Pyaar Ka Punchnama
Outspoken and overly critical Nishant Agarwal meets new co-worker, Charu, offers his help, assists her financially, and they become close friends. His room-mates, Rajat and Vikrant, are pleased with this outcome as they already have girlfriends in Neha and Rhea respectively. But both the relationships are not as harmonious, as Rajat feels Neha is self-centered and demanding, while Rhea appears to be withdrawn and aloof.
Also watch: Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2
4. Body Of Evidence
A millionaire is found dead of heart failure handcuffed to the bed with a home video tape of him and his lover. When cocaine is found in his system, and his will leaves $8 million to his lover, they arrest her on suspicion of murder. Her lawyer succumbs to her charms, and he begins a torrid and kinky affair with her. As new evidence turns up during trial, he begins to wonder if he’s defending a murderer.
5. Mean Girls
Cady Heron, a homeschooled girl, lived in Africa for 15 years. Entering public school for the first time, she meets the “worst” of her classmates, the Plastics. She joins and eventually gets assimilated into the group of three unkind girls. But she later tries to bring them down.
Also watch: Mean Girls 2
Successful businessman Raj Malhotra (Akshay Kumar) has everything going for him, including a lovely wife (Kareena Kapoor). Just when he thinks things can’t get any better, Sonia (Priyanka Chopra) – his ex-girlfriend, now the boss’s wife – walks back into his life – and she wants Raj. After he rejects her sexual advances, she accuses him of rape.
7. Odd Girl Out
A mother and her daughter confront the intimidation of teen peer pressure and the emotionally brutalizing social rituals of high school. A well-adjusted teenager becomes depressed when she’s ostracized by her friends at school. Her mother must help her daughter regain her confidence.
8. Bad Teacher
A lazy, incompetent middle school teacher who hates her job, her students, and her co-workers is forced to return to teaching to make enough money for breast implants after her wealthy fiancé dumps her.
9. Basic Instinct
A former rock star, Johnny Boz, is brutally killed during sex, and the case is assigned to detective Nick Curran of the SFPD. During the investigation, Nick meets Catherine Tramell, a crime novelist who was Boz’s girlfriend when he died. Catherine proves to be a very clever and manipulative woman, and though Nick is more or less convinced that she murdered Boz, he is unable to find any evidence.
10. Wild Things
In south Florida, a high school counselor is accused of rape by a manipulative rich girl and her trailer trash classmate. The cop on the case begins to suspect a conspiracy and dives into an elaborate and devious web of greed and betrayal to find the truth.
Also watch: Wild Things 2, Wild Things: Diamonds In The Rough, Wild Things: Foursome