Satyagrah For Men 2017

Text taken from Satyagrah For Men’s Facebook Page:

Save Family Foundation (SFF – Registered NGO), part of Save Indian Family (SIF), the Men’s Rights Movement of India, invites all Men, Families, Friends for yet another Peaceful Protest against the Draconian Law, IPC 498A and to Push our demand to establish National Commission for Men on 29th April, 9AM at Jantar Mantar, New Delhi.

It was 1983, when a draconian provision of Law, IPC 498A was enacted and today it has become the biggest reason of just not fake litigation but also huge pendency of cases in the Indian courts. IPC 498A, this is already termed as ‘Legal Terrorism’ by the Hon’ble Supreme Court has been the biggest reason for ever increasing Male Suicide in India. Male Suicide in India has given India the most defamatory status of being the Suicide Capital of the World. 1 male commits suicide in India every 5.7 minutes. IPC 498A hasnt just stopped there, it is also the sole reason of arrest of over 2 Lakh Indians every year. And with such harsh and detrimental effects, IPC 498A is definitely the most family breaking and draconian provision till date. With more than 87% of cases to be found false, is it fair to keep Indian Men and families threatened by such a law? We demand immediate scrapping of IPC 498A.

Problems and Pain of Men, in India, goes most unheard. India as a country has Government bodies, Ministries, Departments, Commissions for Women, for Animals, for Trees but 50% of the Indian Population (i.e. Men) dont find any say through any government body. Men, who are the biggest contributors to the Nation not just from their taxes, but also as the builders of the society and modern world, have always been on the receiving end of the society. Currently there is no research on Men and their issues. There is no data collection on Crime Against Men.

There is no body which caters to Violence Against Men. And all this will continue to remain absent till there is a Government will to be Gender Neutral and to be not partial against men. It is dire need of the time for establishing ‘National Commission For Men’. Men, who are easily termed as Rapists in False Rape Cases, termed as Molesters in False Molestation Cases, termed Perverts in False Workplace Harassment Cases are today living their lives on thin lines. Any man can be termed as Rapist, Molester, Pervert, Dowry Seeker, Wife Beater at once, without getting into reality. Society, Media, Authorities, his own circles outcast him and leave him to die a slow Legal Murder or die a fast Legally abetted Suicides. If man have to have the basic right to live and survive, National Commission for Men is the ONLY solution and an immediate demand of Save Indian Family.

So, come forward, join hands and be vocal about your pain. Hope to meet you at 9AM on 29th April 2017 (Saturday) at Jantar Mantar for “SATYAGRAH FOR MEN 2017”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This NRI’s Horror Story Of Marital Discord Will Make You Shudder

I am an NRI. I would like to draw your kind attention to the extreme abuse of anti-dowry IPC Section 498A with my case. I am among many of the hundreds of thousands of people whose entire innocent family was tortured due to a false complaint from my wife. We went through severe harassment and extreme stress after being held in police lockup and jail without any ground of proof and these people were assumed guilty by law. Is this justice to innocent senior citizens of India? Please go through what happened to my innocent parents and brother after 14 months of separation from my wife. I hope necessary actions are going to be taken to prevent the misuse of any law. These incidents are now very common and many people are suffering because of such blind laws.

I have been working as an IT professional in Australia since the last seven years. I completed my education (MCA) in India and have been in a good job since then. I am currently in Sydney. My parents are living in Faridabad. I got an arranged marriage fixed in India in Oct, 2001 and sponsored my wife, PS, to come over to Australia (on permanent residency visa) to live with me. We stayed together for eight months and during that period I found her to be extremely dishonest, disloyal, unfaithful, a big liar and greedy for money and it was obvious her intention to marry was just to come over to Australia and for the money. She had been asking me to sponsor her brother to Australia as well and to bear all his expenses on his education and living. There was no love or commitment though I tried my best to compromise with the situation and have excused her on all occasions assuming it may take time for her to adjust.

We went to India in Oct, 2002 and there she created a lot of trouble by creating misunderstanding between brothers, their wives and started stealing jewelry and cash from home to take it to her mother’s place, and has been using vulgar language about my mother and brother. Then she was involved in a horrifying crime by secretly stealing and destroying the passports of my younger brother and his wife. They are living in USA and were also on holiday there. My brother is working as a software engineer in Chicago. She did it just two days before their departure and my brother’s entire career was in danger as he could not go to USA. It is a long process to get the new passport issued and then to get visa processing again. It was mental torture for all of us. It was not known where the passport had gone until three days later when the time came for me and my wife to come back to Sydney. Our luggage was packed it was just five hours before our departure when we were getting ready I found a trace of torn passport photo inside the toilet. It took me no time to understand that it was her act. I had to postpone our return to Sydney. I called my father-in-law and sent her back (Nov 2002). I have all the proofs with me that she had damaged the passport. She tried to torture everyone in the family by her cruel and criminal acts. I then came back alone to Sydney in extreme stress.

I regretted a lot marrying and loving such a stupid girl. She contacted me many times after that and asked me to call her back to Sydney. But her intentions were still clear. I cannot live my whole life with her. I am an Australian citizen and by the Australian laws (validated by Indian law as well) I applied for divorce at the earliest possible date and sent her a notice on 16 Dec, 2003 in Gujarat, where she lives. The notice was received by her. Later, on 14th Jan, 2004 police and lawyer from Indore came and arrested my aged parents and my youngest brother who lives in Faridabad and within few hours took them to Indore. They have to get me as well but since I am in Australia, they can’t arrest me. My wife had filed a false case of torture in dowry case under section 498A in Indore (though her residence is in Unjha, Gujarat). She falsely accused us of beating ad harassing her for dowry. She has accused us falsely after 14 months of separation upon receipt of the divorce notice. She didn’t even mention the fact, the real reason why she was sent back to her father’s place. Rather she said that she came back herself, though I have enough proofs for my claims.

She committed a heinous criminal act, still being decent we sent her back respectfully with her father when we separated. If we would have been strict, we could even have got her arrested for destroying passports. But still we respected her being a woman.

It was brutal torture to my innocent retired aged parents and my innocent brother. Without any notice they had to travel from Faridabad to Indore in police custody for three days, a distance of about 900 km in police vehicle. My mother is a heart patient and is under treatment. She was extremely exhausted; it was a big risk for her. How can police come and arrest and torture anyone just on someone’s fraudulent and false allegation. Later my elder brother had to go from Rajasthan to get them released on bail on 16th Jan, after spending one night in lockup and three days in police custody.

My parents have lived a very clean and respectful life but now have to see such days. It is a big slap on Indian judiciary that they can destroy anyone’s dignity and can prosecute without trial. There is no respect for senior citizens who have served the country for their whole life. At the same time the legal system has blind faith on crook, cunning young married women and their parents. I am feeling dismayed. My aged parents and brother had to suffer who had nothing to do with my wife. My crook wife and her greedy parent’s aim is to extract a lot of money from me.

As a figure in India, almost 90% of such cases are dismissed by the court after find the case as malicious, but there is no punishment for making false allegations. Almost all the divorce ends up in 498A, where the reality is that dowry is not practiced and hardly women are harassed in educated, well earning family in urban area. Lawyers and police are making big money by trapping innocent citizens.

She was successful in getting a complaint lodged at Indore and the police from another state came and arrested my parents and brother without permission of local police in Faridabad. Also a copy of FIR has still not been handed over to us. In the ongoing crises my aged mother in India was admitted to a hospital with severe cardiac pain and abnormal blood pressure on 22nd Jan, ’04 while they had to arrange lawyers and plan the visit to attend the next date 29th Jan, with a notice of just 7 working days to be in Indore 900 km far from our place. My mother’s health is so severe that she is going to be operated today on 23rd Jan. Not attending will weaken our case. Who is going to look after my mother’s and aged father’s health? As I am also the accused in my wife’s complaint, I can’t go there in India as the police will arrest me. I am just helpless. As such there is no fair judicial or law system in India. It’s against the basic right to live with respect.

My Wife’s Cruel Behavior Almost Killed Me

(Guest post by James Bond)

I was, like every man, excited about my marriage and looked forward to a life of bliss. Little did I know about the web of manipulation that was going to be spun to send my life twirling in a pit of darkness.

From day one, I could see that she suffered from a ‘princess complex’. She would not do any work in the house, citing it was a custom that until henna wore off, women did not do household chores. I knew it was an excuse to cover up for her laziness and sense of entitlement, but I did not want to have an argument so early in my marriage.

She asked me to make tea for her everyday, which was the height of her shamelessness. She said that before marriage her father gave her ‘bed tea’ everyday. I told her that she should have served her father, not the other way around, but she did not see anything wrong with it.

She wanted to go shopping everyday. Sandals, purses, perfumes, shalwar suits, bangles, cosmetics, trips to beauty saloons – every single day. This was in addition to her constant whining about wanting to eat out at different restaurants, again – every single day. After putting up with five months of insanity, I finally decided to become strict about her wild expenditure.

She started yelling at the top of her lungs, hurling abuses at me and my parents, telling me I was a lousy husband, and started throwing household items. After she created a scene, I called her father. Her brother received the phone, and came to my home. She narrated a completely different story to him, telling him how I was the one abusing her. He threatened me and left, citing how the law is in women’s favour. I knew exactly what that was supposed to mean.

She wanted to remain oblivious to my monetary burden and financial anxiety. After a couple of days, she stole my debit card and blew up thousands of rupees in a single shopping spree. It didn’t matter how much she shopped, it was never enough. If I intervened, which I did a few times, all hell would break loose. Yelling, cursing, throwing household items, abusing my parents – it was normal for her to behave like a lunatic whenever she didn’t get her way. She reminded me of a spoiled brat. The more you give a brat, the more she wants, and tantrums follow.

I was earning Rs. 50,000 a month, and that would vanish in a couple of weeks, and I had to pull out an extra Rs.25,000 – 30,000 from my savings. If I didn’t she would abuse and threaten me with a dowry case, and she would call her brother who would tell me what he would do to my family with his goons. I feared not only for my own safety, but also that of my family.

We had given her very expensive jewellery at the time of marriage, but she would constantly make fun of it, calling it cheap, and called me a miser. In public, she would humiliate me over trivial issues. She would start screaming on busy public roads, malls, restaurants, often creating a scene, resulting in people staring at us. I am sure if a man is doing the screaming, people would intervene, but since she is the privileged and entitled gender, she has a birthright to abuse a man.

No one could see my scars. Only they were not on my body. The psychological abuse that I was going through was worse than physical abuse. Having to put up with her yelling, curses, threats, abuse, humiliation, and the way my hard earned money was being wasted, and my saving were vanishing made me very depressed.

I couldn’t concentrate at work. My performance started to suffer. My colleagues could notice that there was something wrong. I asked my boss for leave, citing health problems.

I was living in hell. What made it worse was the fact that they could harm my family too. I didn’t know what to do, I started thinking of an escape. I finally mustered the courage to send her a divorce notice, knowing well that she could accuse me falsely of dowry harassment, but I was prepared for anything. I could not live with that woman one more day.

I sent her a divorce notice, prepared for anything. However, there was no response. I guess they were all bark and no bite. I was lucky, but not everyone is. I think about all those men who are driven to suicide by abusive wives. Men don’t report it due to the fear of draconian laws and social stigma. Men suffer in silence.

The Double Standard for Dowry

(Guest post by Babar)

We all know dowry as the gifts that the family of the bride give to the bridegroom, but we never talk about the untold misery and the millions of rupees that the family of the bridegroom spend in buying jewelry for the prospective wife, we don’t speak of the millions of rupees that the family of the bridegroom spend in purchasing bridal clothes for the prospective wife, we never mention the cost of the expensive engagement ring, we don’t discuss the price of gifts for the bride’s family and of course, the entire life that the man spends like a human ATM.

We don’t call the millions of rupees a man spends on jewelry, bridal clothes, engagement ring, gifts, etc. before his marriage on his prospective wife dowry. We don’t label it as an evil system that robs a man of his hard earned wealth. We don’t condemn it and call it wrong, a burden unnecessarily placed on a man in this day and age of economic problems. We all know that male suicide is over twice the rate of female suicide.  Yet we are happy to continue with the system of emptying a man’s pockets for his marriage, even landing him in debt at times, yet we only cry when the bride’s family has to give some gifts to the groom.

Blatant double standards, to say the least.

A man’s prospective marriage today has become a business deal. He is always asked how much he earns, which car he drives, how much money he has stashed in his bank account, whether his house/flat is his own or rented, etc. A man is reduced to the sum of what he owns, how much he earns, how much he has, etc. After marriage a man is constantly tortured by his wife with comparisons to other men and what they own. He is taunted for a better house, better car, better job, etc. Countless men are forced to take loans with interest which cause anxiety, health problems, sleepless nights, etc.

Men who are not financially well off are seen as somewhat inferior, as women and their parents hunt for rich grooms. Matrimonial ads always ask for ‘well-settled’ grooms. Women always marry men richer than them. A man has to be ‘well-settled’, own a house, car, have a huge saving and then feed his prospective wife for the rest of his life, spend on her shopping, cosmetics, clothes, trips to beauty parlors, restaurant visits, vacations, etc.

In this day and age, people are getting married later than ever witnessed in past generations, and some men don’t want to marry at all! Women wonder where all the good men have gone. The explanation is simple: (a) the demands and monetary burden society places on men at the time of marriage has deterred them from marrying, and (b) the ease with which a man can become a target of a false case of domestic violence or a fake case of dowry are severe disincentives for a man to even consider marriage today.

Not to mention getting ripped off of entire life saving in case of a divorce in alimony payments, child support, and having to part with half of one’s property in many cruel lawsuits.

The laws, media, and brainwashed members of society are biased in favor of women and they do not try to understand the cruelties inflicted on men with an unbiased mind. Society has burdened men with monetary obligations and has turned them into lifeless ATMs. Male suicides have shot through the roof and yet we keep supporting our biased views and double standards.

Indian Domestic Violence Law is now even more draconian

As many of you might be knowing, the Supreme Court of India has recently amended the Domestic Violence Act.  It now allows the complainant to name women and children as respondents in the complaint, in addition to the husband.

That means, the estranged wife can now target a husband’s mother, sister and children in his family, in addition to him and his father or his brothers.

From a report published on Oct-10-2016 in The Hindu:

In a landmark verdict, the Supreme Court has widened the scope of the Domestic Violence Act by ordering deletion of the words “adult male” from it, paving the way for prosecution of women and even non-adults for subjecting a woman relative to violence and harassment.

The Supreme Court is doing this because in its opinion, this change fits better with the notion of equality before law.

We believe that this amendment is extremely dangerous, gives even more power to unscrupulous Indian women, and does nothing at all to advance gender equality in India.

Let us explain.

As we have previously pointed out, almost all the domestic laws in India presume that the woman/wife is the victim and that the man/husband is the aggressor.  In most such laws, the complainant woman/wife can complain not only against the man/husband, but also against his extended family, and even children in his family.

The misuse of these laws is a severe law-sanctioned cruelty against every married man in this country.  It takes a lot of money, effort and time, not to talk about the stress and social humiliation, for a husband to defend his family and himself.  In all such laws, the husband and his family is presumed guilty and they have to prove their innocence, flipping the principle of “Innocent until proven Guilty” on its head.

This recent amendment would have been a welcome change IF the court had removed all gender-specificity from the law and allowed any gender to complain against any other gender.  As it is, men are STILL barred from using this law to complain against violence or cruelty perpetrated by their wives.

The only change is that earlier women could only complain against their husbands.  Though they could use the draconian and corrupt 498A criminal law against his family, the domestic violence act only allowed her to complain against the man himself.  That was a small but measurable relief to a man’s family.  In every such case, lawyers charge per person to defend.  Each additional respondent means more money for the lawyers, and more trips for aged parents to suffer the humiliation of going to courthouses.

The cruel estranged wives target mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law especially, because they know that targeting the women of the family will break down the husband’s will and make him pay the ransom (called alimony).

In a report by the Daily Mail:

Gupta said that the mothers-in-law, who are mostly quite elderly, are the ones who get depressed in jail and adjusting becomes a problem for them.

The nanands or sisters-in-laws who come in jail for few months are mostly aged between 18 and 26 years and also face a lot of difficulty and depression. These women know that their being in jail means they will be ostracised for life in society; they fear that no-one would marry them. It is emotional trauma for them and most are seen crying for days

Moreover, the domestic violence law is used to ask for relief: non-contact, money and maintenance.  In almost all cases, the husband is liable to maintain his wife.  The elderly and the children are anyway unable to provide any asked-for monetary relief.  In these cases, the courts MUST exclude all the extraneous respondents who have been included just at the whim of the complainant.  If no relief is asked from them, there is no reason to keep them there, except to enrich the corrupt lawyers.

In this particular case, the Supreme Court has upheld that even minors and elderly women can be named as respondents in a Domestic Violence complaint.  This was already possible in the Dowry and related laws.  Now a husband’s family has to brace itself for defending itself again under the Domestic violence law as well.

More laws, more money for the lawyers.  More burden for the Indian taxpayer.

The feminists are gloating at this “win” for women.  But aren’t falsely accused mothers-in-law or sisters-in-law women too?  No, according to feminists and Indian courts, any member of a male’s family is a fit target for cruelty to teach the man a “lesson” for his “patriarchy”.

It is perhaps possible for the husband’s mother to hit back at her unscurpulous daughter-in-law by filing a counter case under this law (now that a woman can be a respondent too, Ha!).  But we believe that most courts will not entertain cases against errant daughters-in-law.  This is because of the inherent bias in Indian courts which regards husbands and their families as aggressors and the “poor” daughter-in-law as an eternal victim.

For men considering getting married in India, we urge you to note this dangerous step in the wrong direction.  Understand the risks to your mother, father, and your existing family.  These risks are now bigger than ever before.

Beware of an unscrupulous and impulsive woman in India.  She now has another state-sanctioned tool to harass your family.

Ten Qualities to Look for in your Future Wife

  1. She should wake up earlier in the morning than you, regularly.
  2. She should have long hair and be fond of feminine looking traditional clothes.
  3. She should neither drink nor smoke nor smoke hookah  etc.
  4. She should know how to sing well.
  5. She should know how to cook many good meals and desserts.
  6. She should not have a strong political opinion.  She should respect your opinions.
  7. She should have a lot of respect for her father.
  8. She should be religious.
  9. She should be frugal.
  10. She should express her disapproval by becoming sad or by crying, not by getting angry.

Marriage 2.0, is it for you?

Marriage 1.0, the traditional marriage before the time when women started working, had clear gender roles and was aimed at creating and sustaining stable families.

Marriage 2.0, the new normal in the age of woman “empowerment”, is about equality and “partnership”, fluid gender roles, emotional satisfaction, attention seeking, constant demands for validation and expressions of “love”, “fun”, social media projection, etc.

But Marriage 2.0 is a fiction peddled by modern mass media.  It doesn’t work, and is not designed to work.  It is a constant stream of stress, negotiation, arguments, fights and subsequent make-ups.

Men in India, who were born in the 70s, 80s and 90s, saw their parents having marriage 1.0, while they themselves are now expected to behave as husbands in marriage 2.0.  Even if both the parents of these men were working, the gender roles still mostly persisted.  In fact, it is quite possible that seeing their mothers work outside the home as well as within the home, men of this generation developed sympathies for their mothers and resolved to be more egalitarian in their own relationship with their wives.  They perhaps thought that if only they were more sensitive to their wives, their wives would love them far more than what how saw their mothers loving and serving their fathers.

Talk about shock and disillusionment.

Modern working women have been taught and brainwashed not to serve and love their husbands.  No matter what you do, a modern earning woman will lose her attraction to you after you marry her.  It is a lie that you can continue to have her love you.  As soon as you commit, now she’s in charge and she wants to use you to have her fun in which you are mostly an appendage and attention provider.  She is not at all interested in making you happy.  The modern wife marries to make herself happy, not her husband.

And once you have children, you are merely the laborer of the family.  Now not only do you have to take care of providing for your family, you have to be mindful of your wife’s feelings and of your kids’ emotional needs.  These days, it is a rare mother who is appreciative of her husband working  all day so that when he comes home, she does not burden him or annoy him with new problems, but soothes him and provides him comfort and support.  Most modern women lose all interest in taking care of their husbands once their kids are born, and all their focus is on their kids.

And if you make any demand on them, they will scream back at you: “How dare you?  Don’t you see I do all the babysitting all day while you are having fun at work?”  If you expect them to look presentable, they will holler: “Yeah, why don’t YOU take care of the kitchen and the kids while I put some make-up on.”

All these problems are now common because women no longer accept their gender role and are in rebellion, and the entire mass media, their parents and friends, are egging them on in this rebellion against their own husbands.

What is in it for the husbands?  We wonder.