Ten Signs Of Having An Abusive Wife

Domestic Violence Against Men

Below are top ten signs that your wife is abusive:

Controlling Behavior

Abusive wives are controlling. She will control who you hang out with, where you go, where you work, what you do with your paycheck, what you wear and how often you talk to family or friends. The abuser will attempt to control you by using body language, according to DrIrene.com. She may refuse to talk to you, ignore you or sulk until she gets her way. She is also a master at controlling conversations.

Extreme Jealousy

Most abusive wives are jealous. There are two parts to jealously. She may be jealous of you as a person or jealous when she is not the center of attention. A spouse who is insecure in a relationship is different from a spouse who is jealous each time you talk to a complete stranger. The later example would be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

Isolation

Abusive wives want you all to themselves. They do not want you spending time with platonic co-workers, family or friends. She would rather you be unhappy by yourself. She doesn’t want you hanging with other people in fear that they may see the abuse.

Blames Everyone Else

She blames others. She takes no responsibility for her actions and blames everyone for anything that goes wrong. She will always find a way to blame you. If you have never heard your wife apologize for anything, you may be in an abusive relationship.

Verbal Abuse

If you feel you are walking on eggshells, this is probably a sign of verbal abuse. Your wife is abusive if she yells, screams or emotionally freaks out over small things. She may threaten you and will always dismiss your feelings.

Gaslight

Gaslighting is “manipulative behavior used to confuse people into thinking their reactions are so far off base that they’re crazy,” according to The Current Conscience. The abuser tells the victim he or she is crazy or “it’s all in your head.” The victim begins to question reality.

Unreasonable Expectations

Your wife has unreasonable expectations. When you make a mistake, you feel there is nothing you can do to make it up to her. She won’t forgive you for your actions, no matter how small the mistake.

Instills Fear

Does your wife put you in situations that make you fear for your life? If she tries to intimidate you, make you feel scared, control and manipulate you to the point where you are fearful of her actions, you are in an abusive relationship.

Can’t Handle Criticism

She can’t handle criticism. You cannot even give constructive criticism without it backfiring. She perceives everything as negative criticism and is highly offended. But she is more than able to criticize, usually in a rude way. If you tell her she is rude, she will say you are too sensitive.

Violence

If your wife is violent, you are in an abusive relationship. If she punches, hits and slaps you, these are obvious signs the relationship is not healthy. She may also try to kick animals, punch holes in the wall or throw things at you when she doesn’t get her way.

Source: Global Post

Also read: Men: The Real Victims Of Domestic Violence

Why Modern Relationships Are Falling Apart So Easily Today

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Why are relationships so hard today? Why do we fail at love every time, despite trying so hard? Why have humans suddenly become so inept at making relationships last? Have we forgotten how to love? Or worse, forgotten what love is?

We’re not prepared. We’re not prepared for the sacrifices, for the compromises, for the unconditional love. We’re not ready to invest all that it takes to make a relationship work. We want everything easy. We’re quitters. All it takes is a single hurdle to make us crumble to our feet. We don’t let our love grow, we let go before time.

It’s not love we’re looking for, only excitement and thrill in life. We want someone to watch movies and party with, not someone who understands us even in our deepest silences. We spend time together, we don’t make memories. We don’t want the boring life. We don’t want a partner for life, just someone who can make us feel alive right now, this very instant. When the excitement fades, we discover nobody ever prepared us for the mundane. We don’t believe in the beauty of predictability because we’re too blinded by the thrill of adventure.

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We immerse ourselves in the inconsequentials of the city life, leaving no space for love. We don’t have time to love, we don’t have the patience to deal with relationships. We’re busy people chasing materialistic dreams and there’s no scope to love. Relationships are nothing more than convenience.

We look for instant gratification in everything we do – the things we post online, the careers we choose, and the people we fall in love with. We want the maturity in a relationship that comes with time, the emotional connect that develops over years, that sense of belonging when we barely even know the other person. Apparently, nothing’s worth our time and patience – not even love.

We’d rather spend an hour each with a hundred people than spending a day with one. We believe in having ‘options’. We’re ‘social’ people. We believe more in meeting people than getting to know them. We’re greedy. We want to have everything. We get into relationships at the slightest attraction and step out, the moment we find someone better. We don’t want to bring out the best in that one person. We want them to be perfect. We date a lot of people but rarely give any of them a real chance. We’re disappointed in everyone.

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Technology has brought us closer, so close that it’s impossible to breathe. Our physical presence has been replaced by texts, voice messages, snapchats and video calls. We don’t feel the need to spend time together anymore. We have too much of each other already. There’s nothing left to talk about.

We’re a generation of ‘wanderers’ who wouldn’t stay at one place for too long. Everyone is commitment phobic. We believe we’re not meant for relationships. We don’t want to settle down. Even the thought of it is scary. We cannot imagine being with one person for the rest of our lives. We walk away. We despise permanence like its some social evil. We like to believe we’re ‘different’ than the rest. We like to believe we don’t conform to social norms.

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We’re a generation that calls itself ‘sexually liberated’. We can tell sex apart from love, or so we think. We’re the hook-up-break-up generation. We have sex first and then decide if we want to love someone. Sex comes easy, loyalty doesn’t. Getting laid has become the new getting drunk. You do it not because you love the other person, but because you want to feel good. It’s all the temporary fulfillment we need. Sex outside relationships isn’t a taboo anymore. Relationships aren’t that simple anymore. There are open relationships, friends with benefits, causal flings, one-night stands, no strings attached – we’ve left very little exclusivity for love in our lives.

We’re the practical generation who runs by logic alone. We don’t know how to love madly anymore. We wouldn’t take a flight to a far-off land just to see someone we love. We’d break up because, long distance. We’re too sensible for love. Too sensible for our own good.

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We’re a scared generation – scared to fall in love, scared to commit, scared to fall, scared to get hurt, scared to get our hearts broken. We don’t allow anyone in, nor do we step out and love anyone unconditionally. We lurk from behind walls we’ve created ourselves, looking for love and running away the moment we really find it. We suddenly ‘cannot handle it’. We don’t want to be vulnerable. We don’t want to bare our soul to anyone. We’re too guarded.

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We don’t even value relationships anymore. We let go of the most wonderful people for ‘the other fishes in the sea.’ We don’t consider them sacred anymore.

Source: MensXP

This NRI’s Horror Story Of Marital Discord Will Make You Shudder

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I am an NRI. I would like to draw your kind attention to the extreme abuse of anti-dowry IPC Section 498A with my case. I am among many of the hundreds of thousands of people whose entire innocent family was tortured due to a false complaint from my wife. We went through severe harassment and extreme stress after being held in police lockup and jail without any ground of proof and these people were assumed guilty by law. Is this justice to innocent senior citizens of India? Please go through what happened to my innocent parents and brother after 14 months of separation from my wife. I hope necessary actions are going to be taken to prevent the misuse of any law. These incidents are now very common and many people are suffering because of such blind laws.

I have been working as an IT professional in Australia since the last seven years. I completed my education (MCA) in India and have been in a good job since then. I am currently in Sydney. My parents are living in Faridabad. I got an arranged marriage fixed in India in Oct, 2001 and sponsored my wife, PS, to come over to Australia (on permanent residency visa) to live with me. We stayed together for eight months and during that period I found her to be extremely dishonest, disloyal, unfaithful, a big liar and greedy for money and it was obvious her intention to marry was just to come over to Australia and for the money. She had been asking me to sponsor her brother to Australia as well and to bear all his expenses on his education and living. There was no love or commitment though I tried my best to compromise with the situation and have excused her on all occasions assuming it may take time for her to adjust.

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We went to India in Oct, 2002 and there she created a lot of trouble by creating misunderstanding between brothers, their wives and started stealing jewelry and cash from home to take it to her mother’s place, and has been using vulgar language about my mother and brother. Then she was involved in a horrifying crime by secretly stealing and destroying the passports of my younger brother and his wife. They are living in USA and were also on holiday there. My brother is working as a software engineer in Chicago. She did it just two days before their departure and my brother’s entire career was in danger as he could not go to USA. It is a long process to get the new passport issued and then to get visa processing again. It was mental torture for all of us. It was not known where the passport had gone until three days later when the time came for me and my wife to come back to Sydney. Our luggage was packed it was just five hours before our departure when we were getting ready I found a trace of torn passport photo inside the toilet. It took me no time to understand that it was her act. I had to postpone our return to Sydney. I called my father-in-law and sent her back (Nov 2002). I have all the proofs with me that she had damaged the passport. She tried to torture everyone in the family by her cruel and criminal acts. I then came back alone to Sydney in extreme stress.

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I regretted a lot marrying and loving such a stupid girl. She contacted me many times after that and asked me to call her back to Sydney. But her intentions were still clear. I cannot live my whole life with her. I am an Australian citizen and by the Australian laws (validated by Indian law as well) I applied for divorce at the earliest possible date and sent her a notice on 16 Dec, 2003 in Gujarat, where she lives. The notice was received by her. Later, on 14th Jan, 2004 police and lawyer from Indore came and arrested my aged parents and my youngest brother who lives in Faridabad and within few hours took them to Indore. They have to get me as well but since I am in Australia, they can’t arrest me. My wife had filed a false case of torture in dowry case under section 498A in Indore (though her residence is in Unjha, Gujarat). She falsely accused us of beating ad harassing her for dowry. She has accused us falsely after 14 months of separation upon receipt of the divorce notice. She didn’t even mention the fact, the real reason why she was sent back to her father’s place. Rather she said that she came back herself, though I have enough proofs for my claims.

She committed a heinous criminal act, still being decent we sent her back respectfully with her father when we separated. If we would have been strict, we could even have got her arrested for destroying passports. But still we respected her being a woman.

It was brutal torture to my innocent retired aged parents and my innocent brother. Without any notice they had to travel from Faridabad to Indore in police custody for three days, a distance of about 900 km in police vehicle. My mother is a heart patient and is under treatment. She was extremely exhausted; it was a big risk for her. How can police come and arrest and torture anyone just on someone’s fraudulent and false allegation. Later my elder brother had to go from Rajasthan to get them released on bail on 16th Jan, after spending one night in lockup and three days in police custody.

My parents have lived a very clean and respectful life but now have to see such days. It is a big slap on Indian judiciary that they can destroy anyone’s dignity and can prosecute without trial. There is no respect for senior citizens who have served the country for their whole life. At the same time the legal system has blind faith on crook, cunning young married women and their parents. I am feeling dismayed. My aged parents and brother had to suffer who had nothing to do with my wife. My crook wife and her greedy parent’s aim is to extract a lot of money from me.

As a figure in India, almost 90% of such cases are dismissed by the court after find the case as malicious, but there is no punishment for making false allegations. Almost all the divorce ends up in 498A, where the reality is that dowry is not practiced and hardly women are harassed in educated, well earning family in urban area. Lawyers and police are making big money by trapping innocent citizens.

She was successful in getting a complaint lodged at Indore and the police from another state came and arrested my parents and brother without permission of local police in Faridabad. Also a copy of FIR has still not been handed over to us. In the ongoing crises my aged mother in India was admitted to a hospital with severe cardiac pain and abnormal blood pressure on 22nd Jan, ’04 while they had to arrange lawyers and plan the visit to attend the next date 29th Jan, with a notice of just 7 working days to be in Indore 900 km far from our place. My mother’s health is so severe that she is going to be operated today on 23rd Jan. Not attending will weaken our case. Who is going to look after my mother’s and aged father’s health? As I am also the accused in my wife’s complaint, I can’t go there in India as the police will arrest me. I am just helpless. As such there is no fair judicial or law system in India. It’s against the basic right to live with respect.

Don’t Marry A Promiscuous Woman

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It is perfectly normal to be attracted to a woman simply because she is beautiful, but if she reveals parts of her body then she is a slut who should be seen for what she is, certainly not someone who would make a good mother of a man’s children. A woman who indulges in open displays of thigh and cleavage does not have any respect for herself, much less for others. She has been clearly entrapped in the feminist matrix.

Beta males willing to be doormats don’t seem to realize that women are not entitled to anything. Women are parasites who will suck a man’s blood and his resources if he is not careful. Don’t be her doormat, just because you like her body. Many men have ruined their lives because they married a woman simply for her looks and/or her body.

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It is hard to believe all those men wishing to marry women that have been used by countless other men. These men walk around like puppies, fulfill every demand, buy gifts, spend lavishly on these entitled women in the hope of impressing them. No words can do justice to the incredible foolishness of these men. You cannot gain respect by licking a woman’s feet.

White knights and beta males think that it is their duty to save these women. The fact is, marriage cannot and will not fix a broken and damaged woman. You simply cannot turn a slut into a housewife. It isn’t possible.

Men should chase their goals, not girls. If you chase goals, girls will chase you. You know that if you chase girls, you will lose money. However, if you chase goals, you will earn money. If you have money, you can have whoever you want. That is reality. Look at lottery winners, and how they end up with a hot girl in a matter of days. All girls are gold diggers.

If the modern, entitled woman could live a perfect life, have whatever she wants, she would still not be happy. She could have a man with the perfect personality, job, social status, someone with tons of money who is great in bed. She herself could have the best job out there, look absolutely perfect, and have everything she desires. Within a few months she will start complaining about something – a happy woman is a myth.

It is all take and no give with women. The modern woman is selfish, and the ugliness of her mindset towards cooking and caring for her family is so intense it is difficult to explain. The disdain that women have for their husbands today is utterly repulsive.

All women who work outside the home are sluts. They are money whores. They show their curves, breasts and legs in tight and transparent shirts and skirts to their male bosses and colleagues, and are thus objects of lust, nothing more. A man who marries a working woman does not know which male colleague or boss his wife is having sex with behind his back, and in a huge number of cases they bear a child that the husband thinks is his, but in reality belongs to someone in the office.

The True Nature Of Women

Arthur Schopenhauer, the great German philosopher said:

The fundamental fault in the character of women is that they have no “sense of justice.” This arises from their deficiency in the power of reasoning and reflection, but is also partly due to the fact that God has not destined them, as the weaker sex, to be dependent on strength but on cunning; this is why they are instinctively crafty, and have an ineradicable tendency to lie.

For as lions are furnished with claws and teeth, elephants with tusks, boars with fangs, bulls with horns, and the cuttlefish with its dark, inky fluid, so God has provided woman for her protection and defense with the faculty of dissimulation, and all the power which God has given to man in the form of bodily strength and reason has been conferred on woman in this form.

Hence, dissimulation is innate in woman and almost as characteristic of the very stupid as of the clever. Accordingly, it is as natural for women to dissemble at every opportunity as it is for those animals to turn to their weapons when they are attacked; and they feel in doing so that in a certain measure they are only making use of their rights.

Therefore a woman who is perfectly truthful and does not dissemble is perhaps an impossibility. This is why they see through dissimulation in others so easily; therefore it is not advisable to attempt it with them.

From the fundamental defect that has been stated, and all that it involves, spring falseness, faithlessness, treachery, ungratefulness, and so on. In a court of justice women are more often found guilty of perjury than men. It is indeed to be generally questioned whether they should be allowed to take an oath at all.

Satyagrah For Men 2017

Text taken from Satyagrah For Men’s Facebook Page:

Save Family Foundation (SFF – Registered NGO), part of Save Indian Family (SIF), the Men’s Rights Movement of India, invites all Men, Families, Friends for yet another Peaceful Protest against the Draconian Law, IPC 498A and to Push our demand to establish National Commission for Men on 29th April, 9AM at Jantar Mantar, New Delhi.

It was 1983, when a draconian provision of Law, IPC 498A was enacted and today it has become the biggest reason of just not fake litigation but also huge pendency of cases in the Indian courts. IPC 498A, this is already termed as ‘Legal Terrorism’ by the Hon’ble Supreme Court has been the biggest reason for ever increasing Male Suicide in India. Male Suicide in India has given India the most defamatory status of being the Suicide Capital of the World. 1 male commits suicide in India every 5.7 minutes. IPC 498A hasnt just stopped there, it is also the sole reason of arrest of over 2 Lakh Indians every year. And with such harsh and detrimental effects, IPC 498A is definitely the most family breaking and draconian provision till date. With more than 87% of cases to be found false, is it fair to keep Indian Men and families threatened by such a law? We demand immediate scrapping of IPC 498A.

Problems and Pain of Men, in India, goes most unheard. India as a country has Government bodies, Ministries, Departments, Commissions for Women, for Animals, for Trees but 50% of the Indian Population (i.e. Men) dont find any say through any government body. Men, who are the biggest contributors to the Nation not just from their taxes, but also as the builders of the society and modern world, have always been on the receiving end of the society. Currently there is no research on Men and their issues. There is no data collection on Crime Against Men.

There is no body which caters to Violence Against Men. And all this will continue to remain absent till there is a Government will to be Gender Neutral and to be not partial against men. It is dire need of the time for establishing ‘National Commission For Men’. Men, who are easily termed as Rapists in False Rape Cases, termed as Molesters in False Molestation Cases, termed Perverts in False Workplace Harassment Cases are today living their lives on thin lines. Any man can be termed as Rapist, Molester, Pervert, Dowry Seeker, Wife Beater at once, without getting into reality. Society, Media, Authorities, his own circles outcast him and leave him to die a slow Legal Murder or die a fast Legally abetted Suicides. If man have to have the basic right to live and survive, National Commission for Men is the ONLY solution and an immediate demand of Save Indian Family.

So, come forward, join hands and be vocal about your pain. Hope to meet you at 9AM on 29th April 2017 (Saturday) at Jantar Mantar for “SATYAGRAH FOR MEN 2017”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Wife’s Cruel Behavior Almost Killed Me

(Guest post by James Bond)

I was, like every man, excited about my marriage and looked forward to a life of bliss. Little did I know about the web of manipulation that was going to be spun to send my life twirling in a pit of darkness.

From day one, I could see that she suffered from a ‘princess complex’. She would not do any work in the house, citing it was a custom that until henna wore off, women did not do household chores. I knew it was an excuse to cover up for her laziness and sense of entitlement, but I did not want to have an argument so early in my marriage.

She asked me to make tea for her everyday, which was the height of her shamelessness. She said that before marriage her father gave her ‘bed tea’ everyday. I told her that she should have served her father, not the other way around, but she did not see anything wrong with it.

She wanted to go shopping everyday. Sandals, purses, perfumes, shalwar suits, bangles, cosmetics, trips to beauty saloons – every single day. This was in addition to her constant whining about wanting to eat out at different restaurants, again – every single day. After putting up with five months of insanity, I finally decided to become strict about her wild expenditure.

She started yelling at the top of her lungs, hurling abuses at me and my parents, telling me I was a lousy husband, and started throwing household items. After she created a scene, I called her father. Her brother received the phone, and came to my home. She narrated a completely different story to him, telling him how I was the one abusing her. He threatened me and left, citing how the law is in women’s favour. I knew exactly what that was supposed to mean.

She wanted to remain oblivious to my monetary burden and financial anxiety. After a couple of days, she stole my debit card and blew up thousands of rupees in a single shopping spree. It didn’t matter how much she shopped, it was never enough. If I intervened, which I did a few times, all hell would break loose. Yelling, cursing, throwing household items, abusing my parents – it was normal for her to behave like a lunatic whenever she didn’t get her way. She reminded me of a spoiled brat. The more you give a brat, the more she wants, and tantrums follow.

I was earning Rs. 50,000 a month, and that would vanish in a couple of weeks, and I had to pull out an extra Rs.25,000 – 30,000 from my savings. If I didn’t she would abuse and threaten me with a dowry case, and she would call her brother who would tell me what he would do to my family with his goons. I feared not only for my own safety, but also that of my family.

We had given her very expensive jewellery at the time of marriage, but she would constantly make fun of it, calling it cheap, and called me a miser. In public, she would humiliate me over trivial issues. She would start screaming on busy public roads, malls, restaurants, often creating a scene, resulting in people staring at us. I am sure if a man is doing the screaming, people would intervene, but since she is the privileged and entitled gender, she has a birthright to abuse a man.

No one could see my scars. Only they were not on my body. The psychological abuse that I was going through was worse than physical abuse. Having to put up with her yelling, curses, threats, abuse, humiliation, and the way my hard earned money was being wasted, and my saving were vanishing made me very depressed.

I couldn’t concentrate at work. My performance started to suffer. My colleagues could notice that there was something wrong. I asked my boss for leave, citing health problems.

I was living in hell. What made it worse was the fact that they could harm my family too. I didn’t know what to do, I started thinking of an escape. I finally mustered the courage to send her a divorce notice, knowing well that she could accuse me falsely of dowry harassment, but I was prepared for anything. I could not live with that woman one more day.

I sent her a divorce notice, prepared for anything. However, there was no response. I guess they were all bark and no bite. I was lucky, but not everyone is. I think about all those men who are driven to suicide by abusive wives. Men don’t report it due to the fear of draconian laws and social stigma. Men suffer in silence.

The Double Standard for Dowry

(Guest post by Babar)

We all know dowry as the gifts that the family of the bride give to the bridegroom, but we never talk about the untold misery and the millions of rupees that the family of the bridegroom spend in buying jewelry for the prospective wife, we don’t speak of the millions of rupees that the family of the bridegroom spend in purchasing bridal clothes for the prospective wife, we never mention the cost of the expensive engagement ring, we don’t discuss the price of gifts for the bride’s family and of course, the entire life that the man spends like a human ATM.

We don’t call the millions of rupees a man spends on jewelry, bridal clothes, engagement ring, gifts, etc. before his marriage on his prospective wife dowry. We don’t label it as an evil system that robs a man of his hard earned wealth. We don’t condemn it and call it wrong, a burden unnecessarily placed on a man in this day and age of economic problems. We all know that male suicide is over twice the rate of female suicide.  Yet we are happy to continue with the system of emptying a man’s pockets for his marriage, even landing him in debt at times, yet we only cry when the bride’s family has to give some gifts to the groom.

Blatant double standards, to say the least.

A man’s prospective marriage today has become a business deal. He is always asked how much he earns, which car he drives, how much money he has stashed in his bank account, whether his house/flat is his own or rented, etc. A man is reduced to the sum of what he owns, how much he earns, how much he has, etc. After marriage a man is constantly tortured by his wife with comparisons to other men and what they own. He is taunted for a better house, better car, better job, etc. Countless men are forced to take loans with interest which cause anxiety, health problems, sleepless nights, etc.

Men who are not financially well off are seen as somewhat inferior, as women and their parents hunt for rich grooms. Matrimonial ads always ask for ‘well-settled’ grooms. Women always marry men richer than them. A man has to be ‘well-settled’, own a house, car, have a huge saving and then feed his prospective wife for the rest of his life, spend on her shopping, cosmetics, clothes, trips to beauty parlors, restaurant visits, vacations, etc.

In this day and age, people are getting married later than ever witnessed in past generations, and some men don’t want to marry at all! Women wonder where all the good men have gone. The explanation is simple: (a) the demands and monetary burden society places on men at the time of marriage has deterred them from marrying, and (b) the ease with which a man can become a target of a false case of domestic violence or a fake case of dowry are severe disincentives for a man to even consider marriage today.

Not to mention getting ripped off of entire life saving in case of a divorce in alimony payments, child support, and having to part with half of one’s property in many cruel lawsuits.

The laws, media, and brainwashed members of society are biased in favor of women and they do not try to understand the cruelties inflicted on men with an unbiased mind. Society has burdened men with monetary obligations and has turned them into lifeless ATMs. Male suicides have shot through the roof and yet we keep supporting our biased views and double standards.