Twelve kinds of girls to avoid on Shaadi.com

Shaadi.com is the most popular matrimonial website in India.  Compared to a newspaper matrimonial, it offers clear advantages.  You can see photos of the other person, you can see more details about them, and you can communicate and chat with them.

In India, dating websites have not been very popular but they are gaining currency now.  Apps like Tinder are used by some folks but many girls are afraid that someone they know might come across their profile on such short-term dating platforms.

We understand.

Shaadi.com is supposedly to find your future husband or wife, but there are many – both men and women – who are on this website with no intention of getting married.  If you wish to date a woman, it is quite OK to create a profile on this website and treat it as a way to meet women.  If you find a real gem, you may want to consider a steady relationship with her.

But most women on Shaadi.com are quite weird and unfit for a relationship.  If you are just wanting to gain experience with different kinds of women, by all means go ahead.

The only cautionary note is to preserve all your communications and watch out for any indications that the woman is somehow too eager to get physical with you before even having met you.  It has happened that a woman on shaadi.com is just wanting to trap or blackmail you by accusing you of rape etc.

You obviously should read tips on how to create a good profile and how to build attraction via chatting and texting.  We will cover that aspect in another post.

But in this post, we offer some tips on which women to avoid if you are serious about finding a good girlfriend or wife.

  1. The very brief profile.  Don’t bother.  If she is not willing to put in some effort at writing about herself, she thinks of herself as a princess who has nothing to offer but is wanting to evaluate men falling over herself.
  2. The no photo.  She is ugly.  Having a password-protected photo or a photo visible on accept is OK, though.  Trust us, if she looked good, she would have a photo up there.
  3. The “u2”, “l8r”, “txt” and “wid” kind.  She is into too much texting and is an attention whore.  If a girl can’t bother to write a proper English sentence describing herself, don’t expect much from her.
  4. The “profile created by parents”.  If you want to marry someone with a good background, this may be OK.  But don’t expect to date this woman.  Be prepared to talk to her family and be humiliated when they ask you about your salary and prospects.
  5. The “no time wasters please”.  She has dated enough and now wants to trap a beta schlub.  And she is impatient to get hitched.  Be very cautious.  What she wants is for you to not evaluate or date her but just quickly agree to marrying her.
  6. The single moms.  You don’t want to be the one bringing up another man’s babies.  They are however, fine for dating.  But if there is even a hint that they have used some law against their ex-husbands, stay away.  They might trap you in a rape case “on the promise or marriage”.
  7. The “never married” post-wall women.  If she is 32+ and has never been married, rest assured that she has been through some relationships which didn’t work out.  She comes with emotional baggage.
  8. The “fatty face photos only” profile.  If she calls her body-type average but there is no fully-length photograph, she is most likely overweight or obese.  Don’t waste your time because when you finally meet her, you will be shocked.

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  9. The “fun-loving”.  She is vacuous.  Has no interest in anything serious, doesn’t read books, has no culinary skills, and gets wasted often.  She is probably good for a fling but NEVER make the mistake of getting emotionally invested in her.  If she is fun-loving, you too have fun.

    A relevant definition of fun-loving from Urban Dictionary:

    “The most ridiculous, pointless, and redundant adjective that has ever existed. More specifically, it’s what a lot of uncreative and ignorant incorrigibles use in their personals ad when they can’t think of something to say that actually has meaning to it. The definition of fun, is something that is a source of enjoyment, amusement, or pleasure. Therefore, the fact that something fun is enjoyable or pleasurable is built-in to the very meaning of the word. Hence, it is completely redundant and illogical to say “fun-loving”. How else is someone going to feel about fun? Fun-hating? The very notion is contradictory at best, and ludicrous at worst.

    Oh my god! I’m such a fun-loving person! What an amazing revelation.”

  10. The “drink in hand” crowd.  She is probably a party-type who stays awake till morning and then sleeps till noon.  Again, maybe OK for short-term flings, but definitely not wife-material.
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  11. The “hand on hip” pose.  This kind of girl watches too much of reality TV and knows all about celebrities and fashion trends.  She is usually insecure and high-maintenance.  Don’t spend a paisa on her but subtly neg her for her to come after you.  Again, not wife-material.  Not by a long shot.
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  12. The “accept me as I am” crowd.  She very likely has a bitchy attitude and has really bad manners.  If someone is good, they don’t have to ask others to accept them.  They are accepted naturally.  This kind of woman doesn’t understand what relationships are: a process of adjustment and empathy.  She probably thinks a relationship is all about her.  More likely, she has been a slut and doesn’t want you to judge.

 

Fed Up Of Torture By Wife And In-Laws, Dr. Vimal Ended His Life

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Below Is His Suicide Note:

My wife started behaving strangely from the beginning of the marriage itself. She used to get angry and leave home anytime, sometimes in the nights also. I used to go and beg her to come back inside home. She used to tell me that she was engrossed in meditation of her Guruji and did not want to get married. Her parents married her as asked by her Guruji. I used to tell about her behaviour to her parents and her sister also but they never listened to me.

After few months of our marriage she got pregnant and I thought everything may become okay once the kid comes. But nothing changed even after that. Within few days of the child being born she became even more abusive towards me. She beat me up couple of times during our fights. Once when we went to her place and her sister tried to advice her, she picked up a knife and tried to slit her hand. She abused my parents all the time. They used to come earlier to see their grandchild sometimes, but after seeing her behaviour, they also stopped coming at my home. She used to accuse my parents of doing wrong things with their own grandchild. I wonder who someone can accuse grandparents of a small child like that.

Her superstitions, her insecurity became a threat for my family. She is deeply involved in superstitious activities and wants to involve our daughter also into that. She revers some guru who is no more alive. But she still keeps on chanting about him all the time. She says that the Guru talks to her. I don’t know how can a dead man talk to a person? What kind of thought process is that? She keeps threatening me that she will get me and my parents behind bars. Who threatens like that? I felt worse when she said that the baby is not mine but Guruji’s. That it is the Guruji who has given the child. If it is Guruji who has given the child, then why wasn’t the child born before marriage?

Her family members knew about this condition of hers. Still they married her with me and destroyed me and my family. She has traumatized me mentally to a point where I just cannot take it anymore.  I fear for my daughter. No one can live with a person with such psychic behaviour ever. I am afraid she will turn by daughter also as same. There is so much mental pressure every day. Her parents have played foul with me. They knew she is like this. They thought they would marry her anyways, whether it works or not will be the in-laws tension then. Only I know how I have lived this mental trauma since my marriage. I am tired of listening to her taunts and hence decided to end my life to find some peace. Every day I have to attend so many patients in the OPD. When I come back home in the evening, she creates hell for me. She had made my life hell. She says I use my daughter. How can a mother talk like that?

This lady and her family members have tortured me so much that I see no other option but to end my life. I just don’t know what I will do to myself. Her behavior, superstitious beliefs, quarreling nature and mental torture she inflicts on me has made it impossible for me to live with this woman. Please listen to the recordings I have done to understand what I was going through. Please save my daughter from this torture. No normal person can bear this kind of mental torture. Please save my daughter. Please save my daughter. I request my colleagues, media and society to help my family and save my child. I hope the law punishes this woman and her family so that no other person has to commit suicide like this.

 

Harassed Husband Lokesh Kumar’s Suicide Note

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My name is Lokesh Kumar. I am Sheetal’s husband. We got married one and a half year ago. I have taken Sheetal to her home many times. However, since last three months I haven’t been able to do so as my sister-in-law was pregnant and we had to go to hospital regularly. All these days, my in-laws kept scolding me for not taking Sheetal to their place.

My mother was alone at home and there was no one to take care of things. Even then my mother never asked Sheetal to do any household work. Sheetal’s mother kept interfering in our family, asking her not to help in any household work and make my old age mother do everything. I kept telling my wife I have just got a new job, and that I will take her to her home as soon as I get my salary. But she never listened to me.

Her mother Kamlesh, her father, her brother along with neighbours came at my home, beat me up black and blue, and she went away with them leaving behind my seven month old son. Sheetal never loved her kid. She never loved her child as a mother. She was not bothered about it. The reason for it is she always wanted a lavish life style, loved only money. She never loved me, though I loved her like mad. She did whatever her mother asked her to do. Today, when I went at their place to bring her back, her mother and father thrashed me, beat me up in front of everyone, asked me to divorce her.

Sheetal herself declared until your mother and father bow down at my knees, plead and beg in front of me, I will not come back. Also, you will not stay with your parents if you want me to come back. My parents never ill treated or misbehaved with her. I wanted to give my son a beautiful future. I wanted to keep my family happy.

Sheetal, you have killed everything in my life. I did everything for you, you should have at least tried to understand me. I am ending my life today. You and your mom wanted to harass me by taking my son away from me, but I won’t let you do that. I am taking my life. I never did anything wrong, but still I am being forced to end my life.

Even before taking this extreme step, I called Sheetal, her mother, her father, her brother to talk to her once. But they all said, Sheetal is dead for you, you also die. I never wanted to end my life, but my mother-in-law forced me to. Sorry mummy papa, I couldn’t be a good son and take care of you all. Please forgive me. I have never consumed alcohol in my life, but today I am drinking because I have gone mad. My mother in law has turned me mad. Sheetal you never loved me or my child. Mummy Papa I love you.

True Gender Equality Is When Both Men And Women Have A Voice

Excerpt from a man’s marital life:

I tried everything possible to make my marriage work for three and a half years. In that duration, she left me multiple times after bitter and ugly fights, where she abused me, my family (even though they lived separately) and everything that was about me. She was extremely controlling, possessive and I often felt like a slave. I was abused not only verbally but physically too. She used to throw fits on tiniest issues – as irrelevant as – why did you not hold my hand in the mall? And then I had to explain. I was tired of making up every time. She used to say sorry and come back and expected me to forget everything as if nothing happened. When she left me this time, breaking every possible object in my home, I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought of filing for divorce. In my mind, a divorce was something as simple as filing a document in the court and the only way to get away from this abusive marriage. Little did I know that the real hell, worse than what I was currently in, would start only after I filed DIVORCE…

A hell where me and my family were falsely charged of cruelty under section 498A of IPC ….

A hell where I was dragged and pushed inside a police van, treated like a hardcore criminal, kept on watch under their instructions and not allowed to say a thing ….

A hell where my mother suffered a heart attack ….

A hell right here on earth …. Just because I filed for Divorce.

What Exactly Is Funny About The Male Molestation Scene In Badrinath Ki Dulhania?

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There is a scene in the film ‘Badrinath Ki Dulhania’ where Varun Dhawan is surrounded by goons and it looks like he is going to get robbed. However, they tear his clothes, molest him and run away. Everyone in the movie theatre bursts out laughing. Seconds later in the scene, Alia Bhatt and her friends rescue him, look at his condition and they too, start laughing.

What If It Was Alia Bhatt Who Got Molested Instead Of Varun Dhawan? Would We Have Laughed? Is Male Molestation A Joke?

Below is an excerpt from a letter to Alia Bhatt at First Post, but in reality it is a letter to everyone who laughed, or thought that the scene is funny.

I am a man who has been raped by a man, as a boy of seven and all through my teen age years. I have no expectation from Karan Johar, who produced a movie with an inconsequential scene on the “comic”ness of male rape despite belonging to my own tribe. I have no expectation from that bloke Khaitaan. Varun doesn’t give me the vibe of being socially conscious and seems to still be a kid.

But you? I had faith in you. You let me down.

Your Laughter In That Scene Is A Painful Reminder Of The Challenges Many Male Survivors Of Sexual Assault Face Everyday.

It is not funny to be raped. Gender irrespective. In fact, men and boys who get sexually assaulted are unable to speak up only because of the kind of laughter in your film. You drowned several voices of self acceptance that could have emerged out of the closets of shame with the sound of your laughter.

This wound will take time to heal.

My Hero: Narayan Krishnan

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Narayanan Krishnan was a bright, young, award-winning chef with a five-star hotel group, short-listed for an elite job in Switzerland. But a quick family visit home before heading to Europe changed everything.

“I saw a very old man eating his own human waste for food,” Krishnan said. “It really hurt me so much. I was literally shocked for a second. After that, I started feeding that man and decided this is what I should do the rest of my lifetime.”

Krishnan was visiting a temple in the south Indian city of Madurai in 2002 when he saw the man under a bridge. Haunted by the image, Krishnan quit his job within the week and returned home for good, convinced of his new destiny.

“That spark and that inspiration is a driving force still inside me as a flame — to serve all the mentally ill destitutes and people who cannot take care of themselves,” Krishnan said.

Krishnan founded his nonprofit Akshaya Trust in 2003. Now 29, he has served more than 1.2 million meals — breakfast, lunch and dinner — to India’s homeless and destitute, mostly elderly people abandoned by their families and often abused.

“Because of the poverty India faces, so many mentally ill people have been … left uncared [for] on the roadside of the city,” he said.

Krishnan’s day begins at 4 a.m. He and his team cover nearly 125 miles in a donated van, routinely working in temperatures topping 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

He seeks out the homeless under bridges and in the nooks and crannies between the city’s temples. The hot meals he delivers are simple, tasty vegetarian fare he personally prepares, packs and often hand-feeds to nearly 400 clients each day. Krishnan carries a comb, scissors and razor and is trained in eight haircut styles that, along with a fresh shave, provide extra dignity to those he serves.

He says many of the homeless seldom know their names or origins, and none has the capacity to beg, ask for help or offer thanks. They may be paranoid and hostile because of their conditions, but Krishnan says this only steadies his resolve to offer help.

“The panic, suffering of the human hunger is the driving force of me and my team members of Akshaya,” he said. “I get this energy from the people. The food which I cook … the enjoyment which they get is the energy. I see the soul. I want to save my people.”

The group’s operations cost about $327 a day, but sponsored donations only cover 22 days a month. Krishnan subsidizes the shortfall with $88 he receives in monthly rent from a home his grandfather gave him.

Krishnan sleeps in Akshaya’s modest kitchen with his few co-workers. Since investing his entire savings of $2,500 in 2002, he has taken no salary and subsists with the help of his once-unsupportive parents.

“They had a lot of pain because they had spent a lot on my education,” he said. “I asked my mother, ‘Please come with me, see what I am doing.’ After coming back home, my mother said, ‘You feed all those people, the rest of the lifetime I am there, I will feed you.’ I’m living for Akshaya. My parents are taking care of me.”

For lack of funding, the organization has been forced to halt construction on Akshaya Home, Krishnan’s vision of a dormitory where he can provide shelter for the people he helps. Despite the demands and few comforts his lifestyle affords, Krishnan says he’s enjoying his life.

“Now I am feeling so comfortable and so happy,” he says. “I have a passion, I enjoy my work. I want to live with my people.”

Source: CNN