Marriage 2.0, is it for you?

Marriage 1.0, the traditional marriage before the time when women started working, had clear gender roles and was aimed at creating and sustaining stable families.

Marriage 2.0, the new normal in the age of woman “empowerment”, is about equality and “partnership”, fluid gender roles, emotional satisfaction, attention seeking, constant demands for validation and expressions of “love”, “fun”, social media projection, etc.

But Marriage 2.0 is a fiction peddled by modern mass media.  It doesn’t work, and is not designed to work.  It is a constant stream of stress, negotiation, arguments, fights and subsequent make-ups.

Men in India, who were born in the 70s, 80s and 90s, saw their parents having marriage 1.0, while they themselves are now expected to behave as husbands in marriage 2.0.  Even if both the parents of these men were working, the gender roles still mostly persisted.  In fact, it is quite possible that seeing their mothers work outside the home as well as within the home, men of this generation developed sympathies for their mothers and resolved to be more egalitarian in their own relationship with their wives.  They perhaps thought that if only they were more sensitive to their wives, their wives would love them far more than what how saw their mothers loving and serving their fathers.

Talk about shock and disillusionment.

Modern working women have been taught and brainwashed not to serve and love their husbands.  No matter what you do, a modern earning woman will lose her attraction to you after you marry her.  It is a lie that you can continue to have her love you.  As soon as you commit, now she’s in charge and she wants to use you to have her fun in which you are mostly an appendage and attention provider.  She is not at all interested in making you happy.  The modern wife marries to make herself happy, not her husband.

And once you have children, you are merely the laborer of the family.  Now not only do you have to take care of providing for your family, you have to be mindful of your wife’s feelings and of your kids’ emotional needs.  These days, it is a rare mother who is appreciative of her husband working  all day so that when he comes home, she does not burden him or annoy him with new problems, but soothes him and provides him comfort and support.  Most modern women lose all interest in taking care of their husbands once their kids are born, and all their focus is on their kids.

And if you make any demand on them, they will scream back at you: “How dare you?  Don’t you see I do all the babysitting all day while you are having fun at work?”  If you expect them to look presentable, they will holler: “Yeah, why don’t YOU take care of the kitchen and the kids while I put some make-up on.”

All these problems are now common because women no longer accept their gender role and are in rebellion, and the entire mass media, their parents and friends, are egging them on in this rebellion against their own husbands.

What is in it for the husbands?  We wonder.

 

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2 thoughts on “Marriage 2.0, is it for you?

  1. Amen brother, very true indeed. After learning the lesson painfully in my first marriage and having divorced with much difficulty, I again fell into the marriage trap for the sake of ‘society and family’ and now have a 10 year old son, whose future is the only reason I am putting up with my wife. Like a fly to a fire, what’s with marriage that makes even otherwise successful and rational-thinking men succumb to it? My wife fits the quintessential definition of ’emotionally unstable’ with such aggressive streaks in her that would make grown men cry (as I have on many occasions). Marriage did not work for me, but now it has become an experience in building super-human patience for the sake of providing a ‘stable’ household for my growing son. I now hope my son grows up to think for himself and not fall into the same traps I did.

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  2. @Mr Walkin’ on Eggshells

    I am so sorry you are going through this, bro. Experiences such as yours are why I have postponed getting married and am seriously considering if it is something I should do.

    I hope raising your son and watching him grow provides you some comfort. It might even be better for him if you were to divorce your wife rather than live in such a contentious household. He might have some resentment initially, but he would understand after he grows up. Have some funds and savings in a form that cannot be tracked squirreled away in the event of that eventuality.

    Good luck.

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