Why PUA tactics or Game is a Double-Edged Sword

PUA tactics and game are aimed at making you more attractive to women.  There are in general, two kinds of advice available: short-term manipulation (“Game”), and long-term evolution (“Self-improvement”).

Short-term manipulation is to “act alpha” and modulate your self to appear more interesting, social, attractive, “high-value” than you really are.  This kind of advice usually goes something like this: it is foolish to “just be what you are” with women, that won’t get you laid; you need to dress sharp, be witty and cocky, show high-value in a non-obvious way, exhibit “abundance mentality”, neg the woman, “flip the script”, act a bit aloof after building attraction (push-pull), be “fun” and outgoing, be the man she desires by emotionally connecting with her, etc.

Most of these are captured in the “sixteen commandments of poon” published at Chateau Heartiste.

Long-term evolution is to evolve your body, mind and spirit so that you are established and anchored in the strength of your personality and do not seek validation from women (or even from the vast majority of men).  It is to regard your body as a temple (eat healthy, exercise, stay away from dissipating habits), cultivate your intellect and skill-set, develop passions and hobbies in keeping with your personality.  Become actually affluent and socially respected.  And then … wait for the right woman to be attracted to you as matter of course.

Both of these strategies assume that having a sexual partner is the aim.  Only the means differ.

Which of these strategies is worthy of a man who respects himself and wants to live in the world with his head held high?

We believe that short-term manipulation in order to bed a woman is fun, but meaningless and psychologically dangerous.  It is like a drug which can get you addicted or make you feel exhausted and alienated  You will feel satisfied and disappointed in waves.  Each disappointment will have to be culled with another manipulation-fueled-conquest.

We encourage you to interact with women and to learn how their minds work, but beware of losing yourself in this game.  Ensure that you continue to cultivate your inner self.  Ensure that being a player in some situations does not diminish your ability to be authentic in other situations.

If you manipulate a woman into bed, the woman is having sex with a persona that you have managed to project.  Like it or not, a primary reason men want to have sex with women (instead of just masturbating) is because of the feeling of validation it provides.  But short-term manipulation defeats that purpose.  At the end of the encounter, you do not feel validated, just clever.  You pat yourself on the back for another “notch” and revel in the admiration of other men.

It is not very different from masturbation, though obviously it requires more skill and artistry and will win you others’ envy.

No matter what the PUA literature says, this behavior implicitly puts “pussy on the pedestal” and demeans yourself by following the rules-of-the-game as set by the target woman.  No matter what you tell yourself, you have lost “frame” as soon as you enter a bar or a room with the aim to seduce a woman.  As a rule, no emotional connection is possible in such encounters because you are carefully hiding your real self.  It is almost a purely physical culmination of an orchestrated attempt to woo the woman.

After many such encounters, the pick-up-artist might feel proud of his cleverness and others may feel envious of him, but he is no closer to feeling validated and respected as a man.  He has managed to orchestrate the woman into his bed, and he knows it.  All his notches have been due to his tactics, not his being.  Any self-aware pick-up-artist realizes this quandary but is unable to fully admit to himself, or to others, the self-defeating nature of his pursuit.

The only benefit of such encounters is to get experience with women and to develop certain skills: social intelligence, fashion sense, fitness, …) which are easy to exhibit.  Once again, be wary of letting this superficial persona define all of you.

What about long-term evolution?  We believe that there are very few women left who really gravitate toward a deep-thinking, intellectual, truly courageous, non-flippant, restrained man.  Such men were the heroes of yesteryears but today they would be relegated to involuntary celibacy, watching clowns and jocks get pussy left and right while they publish the next Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus (Wittgenstein published his grave philosophical opus at the age of 29).

The strategy of long-term evolution might seem better to a man with dignity than PUA-like manipulation, but this too has two fatal flaws:

  1. Women are just not turned on by deep thinkers any more.  An evolved man can continue to wait, and he will continue to wait.  Women of all kinds are just looking for fun, and not depth.  The only long-term evolution that will get you laid is to get rich and famous.
  2. You will spend your youth in celibacy or manipulating bimbos into bed, because true inner evolution isn’t instant; it takes a decade or two.

We believe that in current times, an intense focus on women is going to be the downfall of a man with potential.  Women are more than ever the gatekeepers of sex, and they are not interested in commitment except after riding the cock-carousel.  At that time, they are unworthy of a relationship with any man, what to say of an evolved man.

MGTOW, or men-going-their-own-way, movement is the most prominent articulation of the thought that modern women are just not worth the effort.  Short-term seduction is psychologically self-defeating, and long-term effort is not worth it (if the aim is a long-term-relationship) because of the quality of the women available at that stage.

We don’t advocate an MGTOW lifestyle, but we can see their point.  Most women these days are not worth more than a pump-and-dump, and they themselves want to be treated that way.  Treat them with love and respect, and they hate you.

Is there still a possibility of a fulfilling long-term-relationship in these times?  The only theoretical way is for an evolved man in his late thirties to attract a woman in her early twenties, from a traditional culture, and then domesticate her.  This is easier said than done.  Traditional cultures are becoming rarer by the day, and it is not easy to attune to a long-term partner from another culture.  Moreover, unless the man moves to that culture, the migration of the woman to the decadent western culture will make his relationship a battle against the toxic influences on his new, young wife.

What is our advice to men who value themselves?  Do not spend too much effort on pursuing women.  Be a fashionable man, be a suave, intelligent man, be a man in control of himself, cultivate your personality according to what you want.  Attract women passively, because that is not too big a waste of your energies.  If a woman is attracted to you, open yourself to her and let her charm you.  If no such women is forthcoming, continue your life’s work.

If you are too hungry for sex, learn game and take a woman (or ten of them) to bed.  But remember that those encounters are just entertainment, like going to a movie.  If you have to work twelve hours to watch a two hour movie, think about whether it is worth it.  If you find it fun to woo a woman, by all means go ahead.  If you find it a chore (as most deep-thinking men do), develop your skills and game to an extent (and that takes practice!) so that you can find a woman without much effort.

Don’t make women your life’s mission.  Nature never intended you to.


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