Two Anecdotes about Unmarried Indian Women

First one, from Quora:

Few years ago, while I was unmarried and was looking for a suitable match I registered myself on matrimonial sites (shaadi dot com and bharat matrimony) with a hope to get a similar minded person and a zero-showoff marriage. Also, my parents were looking for a suitable match via their personal & social connections.

A lot of phone conversations with prospects from the matrimonial sites used to consist of the following things…

  • It used to get clear in the very first few minutes of the conversation that the very reason why both of us chose to find a match via online matchmaking services was because we were looking for Open Minded, Educated, and Zero-Showoff, Dowry-Free marriage. And I used to get very happy that I am talking to such a modern person.
  • In the next few minutes details were exchanges. Details related to family, education, professional, misc details about friends and extended families. And till far, the discussion used to be a breeze.
  • One of the next topics used to be – Career plans after marriage. And I happily used to say that – It will be your choice, I will not interfere in your decision.
  • On the dowry issue, there was of course an agreement that I will not ask for dowry in any form.
  • So next I used to ask – So if things work out, when can you get married? The answer used to range from 3 months to a year. Which was absolutely fine.
  • At this point, almost all the girls I spoke to started taking discussing about the marriage planning, and the discussion used to go like this…

She: So where do you think we should get married?
Me: Either my town or your hometown or a neutral place.

She: I think it would be better if we go for your home town.
Me: Why So?

She: It would be easier for you to make the arrangements, hotel, reception, decorations, etc.
Me: But I thought we are going for a zero-showoff marriage. And I have already decided that I would go for court-marriage, followed by a small reception. And the entire event will be open only to extremely close members of the family and friends (not exceeding 20-25 people from each side).

She: Hmm….that sounds good, but don’t you think its too simple shaadi? India mein aisa hota hai kya?
Me: Hota to nahin hai, but we are the ones who need to change things and start such good trends.

She: Ok, and how about jewellery and all?
Me: Whatever you wish you can buy, why would I have any issues with your jewellery. In any case you are one who is going to use it.

She: So, whats your budget?
Me: Budget for what?

She: Jewellery and other gifts which a bride gets from the groom’s family.
Me: I thought we are going for a dowry-free marriage?

She: Yeah, but this is Indian custom. Groom’s family has to gift jewellery items.
Me: *silence in shock*

{and at this point I had already made up mind, but then thought of testing my patience for a few minutes}

Me: Ok, fine. Agreed. So, lets do it this way. The marriage will be in your hometown. Baarat will consist of around 200 people. Make the arrangements in a good hotel. The marriage arrangements should be taken care by your family. All these expenses will be split between yours and my family. And I guess the expenses would be around 20Lac each side.
She: But thats not possible. Its dowry!

*Totally pissed by now*

Me : So girl, if you have to spend anything its dowry, and if we need to spend something it comes under the purview of Indian Customs! How fair is that?

She: *Hangs Up The Phone*

Its a real story. And I have tried speaking to almost 10-12 girls while I was looking for a suitable match.

Its painful how girls find it absolutely ridiculous to give any dowry (which is great), but then expect a modified form of dowry in return from the groom’s family.

Second one, from an unnamed source:

feh50qfxIt is a misconception that women are angels and men are crass animals.  Women are far more materialistic, pragmatic and status-conscious than men.  Listen to this segment for edification:


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s