Throughout human history, males have exchanged their labor and resources for access to a female’s sexuality and childbearing potential.
This has implied that a man should not cheat his own family of his earnings (they have the first right), and that a woman should not cheat on her husband by having sex with anyone beside him (the husband has the sole right to her sexuality and childbearing). There is a sound logic for this arrangement. Both the male and the female promise to offer their best to each other, and that augurs well for the stability and the future of the family and the household.
The household is a disaster if either the husband or wife “cheat” in their respective domains. If the husband cheats by spending his money elsewhere while his children starve, or if the wife produces an illegitimate child, the genetic propagation coupling of the husband and wife suffers a breakdown. While both are egregious offenses, the woman’s role is far more critical. A man not caring for his family might be negligent, but at least the kids are still their joint progeny and maybe they get some support and help from their extended family or the community (as it usually happens). On the other hand, a woman having a child from another man is committing a far greater subversion of the marital union. She is condemning her husband’s genes to oblivion.
Now ponder over this natural arrangement for a moment.
A man is being the exclusive provider of something (money and resources) that his family needs, and the woman is being the exclusive provider (sexuality and motherhood) of something that her family needs. The arrangement only works because of the exclusivity. If the woman is able to get resources from elsewhere, and if the man is able to procure sex and motherhood at will, then the sine qua non of the relationship ceases to exist. Then the man and the woman do not need each other, and the foundation of the relationship is no more.
So far so good? Now we make the politically incorrect statement: a woman accepting the financial favors from someone else is equivalent to a man accepting the sexual favors from someone else.
That might seem an innocuous statement at first. It isn’t. In the modern world, women are being told to get educated and to earn money so that they don’t have to “depend” on their husbands. So the woman is being “empowered” to be free from the dependence that a traditional marriage entailed. But the man is not being similarly empowered to be a philanderer and get sex from other women. The moral prohibition against male (and female) adultery continues, but the moral prohibition against earning women has disappeared.
What this implies is that a modern woman no longer needs her husband, but a modern husband still needs his wife. We need not dwell on the imbalance that this new dynamic entails.
So, if a married woman accepts someone else as her financial caregiver (in the modern world, it is the corporation or the boss), it is morally equivalent for a married man to accept someone else as his sexual caregiver.
If you are a working woman by choice, you have no moral claim to your husband’s sexual fidelity. Since you, by your independent stream of income, have ensured that you do not need him and therefore you are not tied to him when it comes to financial support, neither is he tied to you when it comes to sex.
If you are independent, then so is he. If you are selling yourself to others, so is he free to buy what he needs from others. If a queen works for another king, she is no longer the queen of her own kingdom.
A rational husband of a working woman must think like this: “My wife has deserted my shelter. She is expressing the fact that she does not need me. Why do I still need her?”
Unless the family is passing through a hardship, or if the woman has a special, great talent, a working woman is in contradiction to the foundations of a marital relationship.
As more and more women enter the workforce, women are increasingly unhappy and men are increasingly unemployed. One can ignore nature only at one’s peril.
There is enormous peer pressure for women to get educated and find a low-skilled job in media, PR or HR. It is not easy to find or remain a traditional woman in these times.
All we can advise in this age is:
If you are a woman, do not aim to be independent. Nurture your femininity instead. Your success in relationships is to find, and cherish, a man who can be your provider for life.
If you are a man, do not marry an independent woman. Nurture your masculinity instead. Your success in relationships is to find, and cherish, a woman who can be your nurturer for life.